No Man in His Right Mind Would Wear Fake Eyelashes

fake eyelashes for men Never until I had a steady significant other did I realize that, despite prior beliefs, men do have somewhat of a grooming ritual. For my man, that involves face lotions, tweezers, aftershave ... and it stops there.

I'm actually frightened to tell you that for some men, it doesn't. These days there are all sorts of girly products being marketed to the opposite sex. First, there was EvolutionMan-colored nail polish. And now there are fake eyelashes. I know, I wish I were kidding too.

The lashes come in two types, thick and fine, and are retailing in the U.K. at fancy men's stores and online.

Thinking of a guy wearing fake eyelashes makes me laugh uncontrollably for starters. And after wearing them myself last weekend, I'm 100 percent positive that no man I know would ever, EVER be caught dead in these. Let me explain:


Most guys I know are the no-fuss type. You know what I mean, don'tcha? Men like to keep things simple. Eyelash extensions are anything but simple.

Even for women, false eyelashes pose a challenge. When I tried sticking them on to go with my Halloween outfit, I learned an important but difficult lesson: If you twist the fake lash strand the wrong way by accident, there are little hairs jutting out wildly in all sorts of directions. Oh gosh, and if you mess up the glue or buy the wrong kind? Forgettaboutit. There's no way those suckers are staying put.

To top it all off: Wearing fake eyelashes essentially simulates the sensation of walking around with a live caterpillar living your eyelids. I couldn't help but notice the black strands in my peripheral vision all night, and my eyelids felt heavy. Thinking of a guy having to deal with all those hassles just for some thicker lashes? Sorry, but there's just no way in the world.

I'm not saying men shouldn't be allowed to wear them. Hey, if that's what you're into, then by all means, go for it. I can't help but think they'd look a tad strange, though. For me, no matter how annoying they are, they're still super sexy and fun. But guys with uber-long lashes? They'll just wind up looking foolish.

What do you think about fake eyelashes for men? Could you envision your man rockin' a pair?

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