Lindsay Lohan’s Courtroom Makeup Was the Real Crime

lindsay lohanI wonder what Lindsay Lohan is doing right now. Think she's icing her wrists because of the handcuff bruises? Or maybe she's picking out what to wear to her community service assignment at the morgue -- would all black be too obvious? But in all likelihood, the 25-year-old "actress" is standing in front of a fire hose as her assistants scrub her face with a pumice stone and soap.

Because truly? I see no other way to remove that pound of blush/bronzer that she wore to her courtroom hearing on Tuesday. She may have stolen a necklace, she may missed some visits to the psychiatrist and the women's center, but the real crime, folks, was her makeup.


Let's think of some reasons Lindsay would ever leave the house looking like that. Firstly, she simply could've wanted to take attention away from her awful teeth -- in which case, she was successful. No one's talking about her dirty nubs anymore. In fact, LiLo managed to avoid being photographed showing her choppers during the entire proceeding. Winning!

Or, you know, normal people use blush to contour the face, so maybe Lindsay was feeling and/or looking a little puffy and thought makeup could help. It's unfortunate she had to put it on using an oven mitt for a brush, and it's a shame there were no mirrors around, and man does it suck that she had to apply it while in a car going over a tremendous amount of potholes, but puffy she did not look. Another win?

Or thirdly, perhaps Lindsay was headed to an '80s-themed Halloween party after her court appearance. You know Linds! Not one to turn down a party invite, maybe she got a jump start on her costume. And lastly, perhaps she was paying homage to her mother. Them Lohans love them some blush. Yeesh.

Why do you think Lindsay wore that terrible makeup?


Photo via Getty Images

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