New 'Magic Pill' Will Prevent Gray Hair: Yay?

helen mirenThe wizards at L'Oreal are hard at work in their little lab coats mixing beakers full of dry ice and magic potions trying to come up with a beauty product that will once and for all stop the aging process. Enough with this getting older thing, right? Let's just all look 27 for the rest our lives and talk lip glosses and keratin treatments when we're chilling on the front porch of our nursing homes wearing mini skirts and tube tops, braiding each other's thick, brown hair. No grays for us old folks in the future! Because there's now a pill you can take to prevent getting any gray hair.

It's true. L'Oreal says that the pill will be on the market by 2015. I'm for serious.

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It's made of fruit extract blah blah blahs that will prevent "oxidative stress," or the process by which follicles turn hair gray. So if you've already got a little salt in your pepper, you're out of luck. The pill won't get rid of already existent gray hairs, it can only keep them from growing.

The side effects haven't been announced yet, but I'm pretty sure we can bank on some anal leakage and amnesia. Maybe some vomit that looks like coffee grounds and severe depression, too, because you know a vanity pill like this will have some gnarly corollary consequences. If you see an elderly woman in 2020 with a full head of luscious brown hair, you can take solace in the fact that there's probably puss oozing from her ass and she's having thoughts of suicide. Because if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

But say it is a perfect world and the magic bean really does prevent gray hair in a natural and safe way .. I still don't think I'd take it. Gray hair is kind of boss. Especially when it comes in streaks or skunk spots -- I think it's totally cool. And so does Stacy London. The pill would kill my chances of getting this awesome look, so yeah, thanks but no thanks, L'Oreal.

Would you take the no-gray-hair pill?

 

Photo via Chris Jackson/Getty

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