Want a 'Jersey Shore' Tan? Pauly D Can Help

the situation and pauly d.
Wait, you have a tanning line, too?
You know what the world is in dire need of? Another celebrity tanning line. Who's with me? I mean, how the crap are we supposed to get by merely on the bronzing products of JWoww, Lindsay Lohan, the Kardashians, and The Situation? I need options when I'm deciding what shade of pumpkin I'd like to dye my skin, and quite frankly, four celeb lotions aren't going to cut it.

Wait a minute ... hold on ... what's this I see? ... if my eyes are not deceiving me, the golden gods have just smiled upon us. You guys, Pauly D. is starting a tanning line. Rejoice, my fellow pasty friends! Another much-needed option!


Apparently, the Jersey Shore star realized that screaming, "Cabs are he-re!" and "DJing" aren't going to pay the bills forever, so he decided to make a foray into the lucrative world of tanning products. (Is the world of tanning products lucrative? I have no idea, I'm just talking out of my ass.) He teamed up with the company Devoted Creations to launch his tanning lotions and sunless products, and hot damn, is the company's president excited. He said:

Partnering with Pauly, who has such a tremendous amount of star power and fan following, is beyond exciting. Our teams have great chemistry and drive which makes this a winning combination.

So, there you have it, guys. This line is a shoo-in, what with Pauly D's star power and all. What could possibly go wrong?

Oh, I know. The fact that there are already four other celebrity tanning lines on the market! Why is this, like, a new thing? I mean, I understand stars coming out with jank jasmine-infused perfumes to make a couple bucks, but tanning lotions? It's just so ... cheesy.

And can we discuss the fact that all of these celebrities, save for the Kardashians who are half Armenian, have terrible, terrible tans. Lindsay Lohan? As orange as they come. JWoww? A little too Night at the Roxbury. The Situation? Is The Situation even tan? And Pauly? Well, Pauly just sort of always looks like an idiot.

If I decide to fake tan myself this winter via lotion -- which I may -- I don't think I'm going to go with any of these brands. 'Cause not only are these people a shade I have no interest in turning myself, something about it just seems wrong.

Would you ever use Pauly D.'s tanning line?


Image via mtv

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