'America's Next Top Model' Recap: Nigel Barker Looks Like a Buffoon With Hair

nigel barker

Prepare yourselves for the model drama-rama. Last night was the highly anticipated premiere of Tyra Banks' newest installment of America's Next Top Model: All Stars. Lucky for us reality TV suckers, we get to watch 14 of our fan faves (or least faves, in the case of cycle 16's Alexandra) from the last 16 seasons duel it out for the top spot as model supreme. Things are gonna get fiiierrrrce.

Sure, it was fun to watch the girls embody their old personas from their past seasons on ANTM. We saw them walk the runway in a live judging competition featuring special guest Nicki Minaj. But one person stole the show, and it wasn't any of the models. Nigel Barker, what the hell have you done to your head?

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First of all, let's look at a photo real quick of Nigel without hair. You know, the "famed fashion photographer" (as Tyra calls him) Nigel Barker that we've come to have an itsy bitsy crush on over the last 16 cycles:

nigel barker

SO MUCH SEXIER, right?! Ugh. Granted, Barker still has a bit of sex appeal because of his hunky accent, but I just can't get over that mop on the top of his head. I've seen my fair share of men who've accepted the receding hairline, my cousin being one of them. But he, like Barker, looks great without hair and embraces it for what it is. Growing the coif again makes Barker less chic and definitely like he's straight out of an episode of That '70s Show.

Obviously outraged, I had to do my research about this, and the good news is that there's a story behind the new shag. Barker told the New York Daily News about the hairy situation earlier this year:

Simple, really. My daughter Jasmine was always like, "Dadda, no hair, you have no hair!" I wanted to finally prove her wrong.

Awww, Daddy's little girl. OK, I can appreciate it a little bit more now. And you know what? I bet he even knows he doesn't look as good with the strands. The things a father will do for his children.

Nevertheless, with a whole season of modeltastic fun ahead of us, looks like I'll have to get used to seeing Nigel with his extra accessory. Maybe next week, I'll be able to focus a bit more on the models as they vie for a $100,000 CoverGirl contract, a national campaign with Express, a guest spot on Extra, and a spread in Italian Vogue. It is the makeover episode, after all. Fingers crossed Barker joins in the fun.

Will you be watching America's Next Top Model: All Stars?

 

Image via The CW, STYLEMOM/Flickr

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