Ashlee Simpson, left, and Ali Lohan
Ali Lohan, Lindsay's 17-year-old younger sister, got a new face over the summer, yet can't admit it. We first saw her new visage when she left a hair salon with Lindsay a week ago, and since then, Ali's bizarre metamorphosis has been talked about and dissected by everyone from parent-of-the-year candidate, Dina Lohan (who says that Ali's just growing up!), to E!'s resident plastic surgeon, Dr. Rey. He thinks that Ali's gone under the knife. To which I say, no shit Sherlock.
And it's not like we haven't seen this happen before. The decision to drastically change one's looks when one's older sister is a major star is something Ashlee Simpson knows a lot about.
Journey with me back to 2006 when Jessica's sister little sister, Ashlee, had an about-face. One moment she's the punk rocker chick with black or orange or pink hair, and the next she's lost 15 pounds, gotten a new nose, new cheeks, new chin, new lips, and new blonde hair -- and denying that she's changed in the least. Oh yeah, remember in her interviews she'd be all Maybe I did, maybe I didn't? It was so annoying -- possibly even more annoying than her lip sync fiasco on SNL. But at least on that SNL stage, she looked human.
Clearly, all that plastic surgery didn't really help Ashlee's career that much. I mean, it seems like all she does is go on coffee runs wearing a fedora and sunglasses. Maybe Ali should take notice. A new face does not a more exciting career make.
I know that having a generally-perceived-to-be-better-looking older sister can be hard to deal with -- add to that a splash of fame and a less than supportive family structure and you've got self-confidence issues that grow like kudzu. And just like the stubborn vine, those issues are impossible to get rid of. It's too bad that both Ali and Ashlee don't realize that face alterations won't change a thing. Beauty comes from within, 'member?
It's also sad that neither Ashlee nor Ali will admit to going under the knife. Because, really? No one thinks this is just a "growth spurt."
What do you think?
Photo via Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty and Splash News