straight hairWell, it's a good thing the dog days of summer are behind us because the United States Food and Drug Administration just officially acknowledged that the Brazilian Blowout, a product/process that can make the unruliest of manes calm and frizz-free, is dangerous. Like, really dangerous. They haven't banned the Brazilian Blowout just yet, but they've given the makers of the product until, like, now to get their shit together before the line is pulled from store shelves altogether.

What's so dangerous about the product? Well, see, it kind of/sort of/totally contains a dangerously high level of liquid formaldehyde, known to cause nervous system disorders, chest pain, headaches, vomiting, and rashes. The FDA confirmed that some Brazilian Blowout samples contained up to 10.7 percent of the chemical. Time wrote that the Cosmetics Ingredient Review Expert Panel considered 0.2 percent to be a safe level.

... But it makes your hair look so pretty ...

I've had the Brazilian Blowout once or twice in my day, and let me tell you -- nothing -- and I mean nothing -- gives you silkier, smoother, unbelievably low-maintenance locks quite like it. The first time I had it done was last summer, and it was like a miracle had occurred. I left the salon and was literally caught in a rainstorm, and when I returned home, my hair was perfectly straight and in place. I'm not one of those girls, people! I'm one of those girls you'll find in a public restroom attempting to salvage my hair with a travel brush and a hand dryer after getting caught in a rainstorm. It was a glorious day!

Thing is, though, I (thought I) had done my research, and I definitely asked the salon if the treatment contained formaldehyde. And they definitely told me no. And they probably believed their lie because, see, the bottles of Brazilian Blowout actually say "No Formaldehyde" or "Formaldehyde Free." Which, coincidentally, is also why the FDA is saying that these products are "mislabeled." Oops.

So, what are we going to do about our frizzy hair next summer, ladies? (I'm operating under the assumption that the Brazilian Blowout people are not going to be able to get their act together, because the CEO, Mike Brady, seems to be in complete denial of there even being a problem.) Are we going to embrace them a la Diane von Furstenberg? Probably not. Are we going to just have to bite the bullet and don a bun all summer? Nope. We're going to flat iron the ever-living crap out of our hair until it basically falls out. Thanks a lot, Brazilian Blowout.

Have you ever had a Brazilian Blowout?

 

Image via Stacy Huggins/Flickr