'Project Runway' Recap: Heidi Is Mean!

Project runway season 9It's the premiere of Season 9 of Project Runway, people! I always love the first episode of Runway, it's like summer camp when you want to get to know everyone and you're still crushing on them, because they haven't short-sheeted your bed yet.

And here's something I didn't think I'd be saying today: I'm really rooting for the color-blind testicular cancer survivor. Him, or the old dude who lost his partner to AIDS, fell off the wagon, and out of the fashion business. Yes, those are my favorites this season and I'm sticking to it.

Who I'm not loving? Trinidad's Miss Universe and the non-Mormon Josh. Yes, the cast is crazy, you guys.

But one thing you can depend on with Runway is that Heidi pulls no punches. So mean, yet so beautiful. I found her particularly aggro tonight, and that's not just because my husband works at Lifetime and went on the naked photo shoot for the ad campaign. I swear.

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Ms. Klum does announce her nasty intentions right away when we discover that they're going to send home four people before they even have a chance to unpack. Boo-hoo! I feel so bad for those folks, especially the lady who cancelled her wedding to be on the show. I'm guessing her fiance feels worse.

But Heidi's trademark straightforwardness does serve its purpose, even as you wince as she beats up the contestants. Some of the ones that hurt the most tonight include, but are not limited to: "I had really high expectations ... The whole thing is just bad"; "That looks awful on her"; "This top, it's terrible." Of course, that's why we watch, to see what the tall blonde says next. No matter how painful.

Luckily the bizarreness of the contestants helped keep us out of the gutter after Heidi attacks. That and the crazy challenges, like tonight's, which had Tim Gunn creepily using a key to bust into their hotel rooms at 5 a.m. and demanding they leave in what they're wearing and grab a bed sheet. Yes, that's the challenge: Use your nighties and a bed sheet. So with all this wackiness happening, it's no wonder the top three in the first challenge actually came down to the Miss Universe contestant, the one-balled disabled boy, and Bert, the old dude.

And the winner was -- Bert! The guy who came back from major tragedy, loss, and recovery won the first challenge. Is he the first 57-year-old Project Runway challenge winner? I hope so. I heart Bert, and I hope he goes all the way.

Rafael goes home, which is unbelievable since his hair could have its own show.

Are you watching PR Season 9? Or #PR9? How mean is Heidi?

 

Image via Lifetime

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