Flip-Flops Aren't for Fashion Wimps

flip flopI truly never thought I was the kind of girl who would suffer in the name of fashion. I mean, I love it to pieces, but I just can't justify sacrificing comfort or health in the vein of being stylish. Until I found out that flip-flops are "dangerous." To that I say, eff you. I will die wearing those suckers.

Some fancy doctor in Washington, D.C., who's been practicing for 20 years, blah, blah, blah, says that he sees a patient a day during flip-flop season for a related injury. He talks about how the (my) summer staple can be dangerous and people should practice "flip-flop moderation."

Flip-flop moderation? That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard!

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My feet need to breathe in the summer. And there's really nothing quite like slipping your foot in and out of a sandal, no buckles or ties required. Have I ever had a flip-flop injury? Maybe. Okay, fine, I have, if you must know. But it was over five years ago and there was a lot of Bombay Sapphire and a steep hill involved. Now that I'm older and more mature, I'm confident I can go another five years without this happening again. Also, truth be told, there would have been an injury that night if my feet were adorned with hiking boots.

And can we discuss the stiletto for a moment while we're on the subject? If we're going to go and point fingers here, we have to include it. I mean, that is a dangerous shoe. And what's up with every heel being 900 inches with a platform these days, too? ("Is this thing on?") If any shoe should be practiced in moderation, it's that one. And no, I don't wear those. They are way too uncomfortable for me. I'd rather wear a cocktail dress with stilts.

So, Mr. Fancypants Doctor With a Fancypants Degree, I ask you to leave my flip-flops out of your "health warning" or whatever this thing is. Sure, I may get one caught on the subway platform one day, causing me to get wedged in between it and an oncoming train, ultimately resulting in my untimely death, leaving my husband and dog and family bereft and blaming each other for the rest of their time on this earth. But I don't care. Because they're so easy to slip on and off.

Do you wear flip-flops?

 

Image via dichohecho/Flickr

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