I'd Return Jessica Simpson's Birthday Gift if I Got It

jessica simpsonCall me crazy, but I am not jealous of Jessica Simpson and the $15,000 Hermes Birkin bag her fiance, Eric Johnson, gifted her for her birthday. Don't get me wrong, it would be great if my husband and I had an extra $15K lying around to spend on superfluous crap, but I would not want that money going towards super-fancy bags from him.

Oh no, it's not that I don't like bags! I love them, actually. More than shoes, if you must know. But I don't want my husband -- or anybody else -- picking one out for me. Or any other article of clothing. Because I'm just going to return it.


It happened every year. My mother would throw in a shirt or two for my sister and me with our Christmas gifts. I know why she was doing it -- the same reason I buy people stuff: It's so much more fun and personal than a boring, old gift card. But every year, like clockwork, the shirts would be returned on December 26 to their rightful owner: Nordstrom.

And it's not that my mother didn't have great style; she did. She was never one to wear "mom jeans" or dickies or anything else ... ugly. She just didn't know my style. Not exactly, at least. She knew the general idea, but she rarely got it right.

To me, style is a really personal thing. In my experience, what may look like somebody's taste is rarely it. In the case of my mother's gift giving, it was always one little detail that was off, be it the color, the material, or the designer's emblem in too conspicuous a place. As boring and impersonal as it is, a gift card is usually the best bet for someone who's "into clothes." It's nothing personal.

So, if my husband and I lived in an alternate universe, one where we were rich, and I pushed around a pile of tissue paper to unearth a bright orange (there's the problem) Birkin bag, one thing would come to mind: I hope he kept the receipt.

Do you like getting -- and giving -- clothes as gifts?


Image via Jason Merritt/Getty

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