Do Not Attempt to Wear a Jumpsuit Like Rose Byrne

Nicole Fabian-Weber
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Rose Byrne
Rose Byrne in a jumpsuit
You're a cool, fashionable lady. No need to tell you that jumpsuits are in -- and not just in, really in. You've hit up all the high street shops (and the low ones, too). You know what's up. In fact, if you'll just look to your left, you'll see a photo of the gorgeous Rose Byrne leaving Live! With Regis and Kelly killing it in a jumpsuit. Isn't that nice?

It is. Just not for you. 'Cause you can't wear a jumpsuit. Here's why.

Jumpsuits, like really wide-leg pants or suspenders, are one of those trendy things meant only for Jennifer Lopez (Her Mighty Jumpsuitness) and a few select others -- particularly the ones of the floral and other-patterned variety. The thing about them is ... they're not cute on their own. It takes a very specific person to make them look cute. And as lovely and beautiful and stylish as you are, you're probably not one of those people. Don't feel bad. Neither am I.

They're a rare breed, these women. You know the ones I'm talking about. They're the ladies who make you feel like a complete and utter nerd when they stand next to you -- even when you left the house feeling total satisfaction with the outfit you put together. 

These ridiculous-looking, borderline comical trends (and thank goodness they're just trends) should be left to them and them alone. That thing that made you turn to your friend in the department store and whisper, "Who would wear this crap?" is there for this select group, not us.

And there's no need to get upset. Really, it's okay. I've come to terms with the fact that I will never have a platinum pixie. Surely you can accept a jumpsuit. And you must. Because it's the women who buy these things -- whatever the latest fashion is, however crazy it may be -- who wind up looking sort of silly. Wearing something just 'cause you saw it in Vogue doesn't make you look cool. But knowing what works for you does.

What's the craziest thing you ever did in the name of fashion? I have a gypsy-like headband thing (worn across my forehead) I'm not proud of.

 

Image via Splash

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