Longest Earrings Mankind Has Ever Seen

Lindsay Mannering

mila earringsI feel awkward if my earrings are longer than three inches. I think it's because my grandmother once told me that only gypsies wear long earrings, so I've always sort of stuck to the on-ear kind. But there are others out there who believe that longer is godlier -- and I have no idea what my grandma would say if she met the accessories designers behind brand Mila.

They've come up with fringe earrings so long that they had to dissemble 435 hammocks just to get enough thread. OK, no, but the earrings literally dust the floor and are long enough, when tied together, to make a jump rope.

Don't all rush at once to get in line for these too-cool-for-school earrings. I'm sure there will be plenty to go around. Once the early-adapters have tripped over these earrings, cracked their teeth on the pavement, and lost one of their lobes, there will be all kinds of Mila earrings in the return pile just waiting to be resold. Maybe even at a discount!

There are some fashion "don'ts" that I'll always stay away from (pleated pants, over-plucked eyebrows) but then there are fashion "nevers" that I won't entertain. Yeah yeah yeah it's fun fashion that no one will wear, and kudos to Mila for getting attention for it, but if I wanted to stretch my earlobes beyond recognition, I would put fish paste on my ears and take part in a no-holds-barred wrestling match with a snapping turtle.

But if you, dear fashion maven, want to make a statement with your earrings, do consider these for your next purchase. And if you wear them to a block party, you get a twofer with the pair when you string them together for a little double-dutch, then mop up the floor afterwards.

What do you think of these earrings?

Photo via Thien La for Blu Magazine Editorial featuring Mila earrings

Read More