For the Latest Cellphone Scare, Just Look in the Mirror

Lindsay Mannering

Iwoman texting
Will she need a BlackBerry Facial?
do a lot to protect myself from wrinkles. Creams, peels, and always wearing sunglasses are three of the obvious ways I do my part to stay looking young forever. But now, ladies, we have something new to worry about. There's something we're all doing, day in and day out, that's giving us some hideous, horrifying, hateful wrinkles in our necks. Ew! Make it stop!

We can't make it stop, that's the problem. The cause of these grotesque wrinkles is our smartphones. All that looking down to text, send emails, and play Angry Birds has resulted in our wrinkly-neck population that, until now, had no hope. Introducing the BlackBerry Facial.

The Paul Labrecque Spa in Manhattan is offering a $200 treatment that will reduce the lines on your supple neck caused by your fervent addiction to all things smartphone. There's exfoliating, there's peels, there's a 20-minute session under an LED light -- it's quite a process. The writer that tried it out for the NY Daily News said that she noticed the one line on her neck was smaller, but that the smooth texture of her neck was what really stood out.

Should we all just start adding $1,000 (five sessions a year) to our annual cellphone budget in order to combat the damage we're causing our necks by using our damn phones? Oh, and acne is a problem too for those who talk on their cells a lot. Great.

I think the spa and salon industry could really be on to something here. Combining our fear of aging with the prevalent over-usage of an everyday item is genius. Their market is everyone! Maybe we'll start seeing Texter's Thumb massages on the menu at nail salons, or Temple Kneading at spas for our tired eyes that stare at small handheld screens all day.

Come to think of it, I could use all these treatments. If I could get a hand and temple massage while having my BlackBerry wrinkles zapped off my neck, I'd be in heaven. And with my free hand? Angry Birds.

Do you think you need a BlackBerry Facial?

Photo via -Tripp-/Flickr

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