Your Favorite Beauty Mag Is About to Make You Gag

Nicole Fabian-Weber
5

instyleLike many girls, I used to be obsessed with magazines. I mean obsessed. You name it, I had the subscription. Elle, Allure, Vogue, Real Simple, Glamour. I devoured each one whole in one sitting. And when I exhausted my American options, I moved on to England's. When my husband was just my boyfriend, there were many times we went out of our way so I could pick up the latest $15 British Elle or Vogue. I had a problem.

Despite my propensity towards glossy pages, though, one thing I never cottoned to was the strong, pungent, thicker-than-normal page carrying a perfume sample. Ick. If I wanted to be bombarded by Lancome's Tresor, I would just go to my grandmother's.

Apparently, magazines want their readers putting their noses to the page, though. Why else would they come out with smell-o-zines?

It's not necessarily called that (though it should be), but the latest issue of InStyle, which seems to inveterately have Eva Longoria as their cover girl, actually featured -- brace yourself -- scented spots of paper scattered throughout the mag to "delight and surprise" readers with whiffs of popcorn, watermelon, grass, suntan lotion, and iced coffee. What?

Is this really what came out of a brainstorming/marketing session at the InStyle offices? And was this brainstorming session after another -- more hallucinatory -- session? Scratch and sniff magazine pages? Get lost, InStyle. That garbage was cool for about four minutes in first grade when I was into Strawberry Shortcake. And I'm pretty sure to this day it's still only cool to first graders. (And, psst, first graders aren't part of the dying breed of magazine buying folk.)

Look, publishers. I still enjoy a good mag from time to time. But it's not some lame ploy that entices me to buy. Honestly, I'm most inclined to buy when I'm traveling or going to a pool or beach. Because I want something flimsy and easily-digestible. Oh, and if someone I have a particular affinity for happens to grace the cover, I may shell out the five bucks then, too.

So, one thing I think we've realized from this brainstorming session is be sure to always be well-stocked in airports (which you're doing a good job of, keep it up) and near bodies of water (you could use some help there). Also, work on your apps. The Food and Wine app is bomb. Take a page from them and emulate. You people have spent years making livings off of silly celebrity interviews and ridiculous beauty advice. Surely you can make that work on an iPad.

Do you buy magazines anymore?

 

Image via InStyle

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