Just Say No to Cankle Surgery

Nicole Fabian-Weber

anklesI'm proud to be a woman. Hear me roar. Ra. And although it's not what defines us, I'm also even proud of some of our nutty beauty rituals -- and I'll come to their defense when they're criticized, even if I've never tried them. You want to bleach your poop chute? Go for it. You want to dip your toe in Botox Lake, have at it. If it makes you feel better about yourself, who cares?

What I won't get behind, though, is women getting cankle removal. Yes, ladies, there is a non-invasive treatment for fleshy ankles. And business is booming. 

According to Transform Cosmetic Surgery Group in England, their practice has seen a 60 percent increase in cankle removal inquiries, a simple "laser liposuction treatment" that eradicates the merging of the calf and ankle. The Daily Mail, which first reported the story, was also kind enough to point out female celebrities who should look into it. They're looking at you, Mischa Barton and Dame Helen Mirren.

Maybe it's because of the name -- "cankle," something that I originally thought was a joke, but now seems to have entered the world of actual medical conditions -- maybe it's because "non-invasive ankle surgery" is farging ridiculous, but I just won't back you up on this one, ladies.

The first time I heard the word "cankles" was when I was in college and some drunken douche bag told a girl in my Poetry class that she had cankles. I figured it was something he made up. Then, when I started hearing it more and more (from similar types of people), I chalked it up to a cruel word dudes made up to make fun of girls. Like tenasses. (IE, "She has a case of tenasses." Ten asses.)

And I think that is where this idiotic word came from -- obnoxious boys. Why play into their cruel games that everybody knows only stem from their small d***s? We probably didn't even think twice about cankles before hearing the catchy word.

Embrace your cankles, ladies. There are so many more things you could be spending your time and money on -- like teeth whitening and extensions. If you just can't seem to let it go, well, I won't be able to defend your behavior on this here blog.

What do you think of cankle removal?


Image via rockbadger/Flickr

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