My Husband Will Shop You Under the Table

clothing hangersThe ‘Boyfriend Chair.’ You know, that plush seating reserved for menfolk just outside the ladies’ dressing room for men to take a load off, read War and Peace, balance the country’s budget, and take a nap while waiting for their lady to try on three pairs of jeans. It’s a stereotype because it’s true, people.

But of course, there are always exceptions to any rule, and so yes, there are (straight) men out there who actually enjoy shopping. They are rare, like lygers and Jimmy Choos on the Saks Off 5th Clearance Rack, but they do exist. I know this, because my husband is one of them.


You must be thinking, wow, what a lucky gal, she has a permanent shopping buddy, someone who doesn’t volunteer to clean the bathroom grout with a toothbrush when you suggest you need a new pair of summery sandals.

Except, I hate shopping. I hate sifting through racks of sequined pantsuits and lime green blazers to find that one gem, that one normal-looking black dress in my size that used to be $875 and is now $40. The thought of a blowout sale or a tent sale or any other kind of sale that involves colored stickers and giant mesh tote bags makes me want to pop a Xanax and crawl into the fetal position.

My husband, on the other hand, relishes these events. He loves sifting. He loves finding those fashion needles in a sea of cluttered, wrongly sized haystacks. He could spend all day picking through ... stuff.

The idea of shopping together starts off innocently enough: he suggests a trip to the outlet mall. I agree I could use a new pair of black heels (mistake #642: NEVER go to an outlet mall looking for something specific). I thumb through a couple racks, the one thing I like is missing a zipper or has a lipstick stain, and I declare defeat. Time to go to Jamba Juice!

Meanwhile, husband has not only found himself an Armani suit for 5 bucks, he’s also managed to find me actually wearable Dolce & Gabbana pants and Manolos with the coveted purple sticker (80 percent off, yo!). It's like having my very own personal shopper, and I must say, he's got the style sensibilities of a gay man, so I'd be totally comfortable sending him on a mission to find a cocktail dress for that evening.

Heck, he'd even find great shoes to match.

Is your man the shopaholic in the relationship?

Image via madcitycat/Flickr

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