Midriff Dresses Are for Porn Stars

kim kardashianIs it possible to expose your midriff without looking like Daisy Duke? It’s a deeply philosophical question that you should take at least 30 seconds to ponder during a Real Housewives commercial break.

It seems like there’s a disturbing trend lately of female celebs wearing tummy-exposing outfits. And I’m not talking bikinis, or even monokinis. I’m talking at night, at a formal event where something infused with truffle oil will be served.

The last time I remember seeing this ‘cut out’ style of evening wear, I was thumbing through a copy of Seventeen circa 1991. But apparently celebs are diggin’ it -- or at least the stylists who are dressing them.


First, there was Halle Berry’s Halston LBD. At least she wasn’t IN the dress when a grizzly bear obviously got a hold of it and slashed out half of the torso section. Then there was Selena Gomez in Dolce & Gabbana at the Billboard Music Awards. Homegirl has an adorable figure -- being 18 will do that -- but c’mon Selena, leave the exposed abs for your bikini.

And finally, there’s Kim Kardashian. Woman has curves to die for, and she’s all about showing them off. And she should -- they’re all kinds of badaboom. But the, um, colorful outfit she wore to a recent event for the launch of her new fragrance needed a little extra something, like, oh, a middle.

We women work hard for sexy abs -- I get it, and the Six Pack Abs instructor at my gym knows me well -- but I don’t feel fancy if my bellybutton’s all out in the world. I feel like I should be at Coachella. If I’m playing dress-up for the night, I’m showing some leg, or maybe some back, boobs if I had them, but there’s just something about showing stomach that sucks the chic right out of an evening look.

Plus, how am I supposed to enjoy my fancy meal involving infused truffle oil with my food baby hanging out? Fabric up front is our friend, people, and I want dessert.

Do you think exposing your midriff is okay for fancy events?

Image via Gareth Cattermole/Getty Images

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