Justin Bieber Perfume? I’d Rather Get a Whiff of These Men

Nicole Fabian-Weber
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justin bieberBritney Spears, Sarah Jessica Parker, Celine Dion, Heidi Klum, Gwen Stefani, and the Kardashians aren't the only celebs to have perfumes. A new sweet-smelling starlet is in town. And the thing that sets them apart from the rest? He's a dude. 

It's Justin Bieber, ya sillyhead! The face that launched a thousand gazillion clicks has expanded his beauty empire to now include ladies' perfume. The scent is called Someday, and the name is just nebulous enough to drive high school students upon middle school students upon nursery school students into a tizzy as to whether or not the "someday" is referencing a time that the wearer and the Biebs will finally be together. It's genius.

Us "older" ladies, though? We won't be spritzing the stuff and running through it like a dog chasing its tail. We're too old for that. We want class in our perfumes. We want elegance. We want ... some older heartthrob to invent a scent for us, too! Why do little kids get to have all the fun? No fair!

I swear, just this morning, while I was putting the finishing touches on myself before I left for work, I thought, "I really need a new scent." I'm growing tired of the supersecret elixir combo I've been wearing for years, and the female celeb scents all tend to be too sweet. There's always Love's Baby Soft, but I bring that into my repertoire every few years and I'm craving something new.

I want a man-fume. Something a little muskier than the regular stuff -- and something I wouldn't be embarrassed to have sit atop my dresser. I propose that one -- or all -- of these men come out with a perfume for us sophisticated ladies.

Jude Law. Gee, what would the perfume smell like? Oh, I don't know, how about sex? (Not cheating nanny sex, though; sexy sex.) It would be a lighter scent -- perhaps with a few notes of gardenia -- something one would wear to a barbecue or a stroll through the park.

Clive Owen. This would be a bit of a stronger perfume, a little more musky. You would wear this out to a dinner with friends. It would say, "I'm a smart, independent, sexy lady. Hear me roar, mothers."

Johnny Depp. A little more playful than the others. You would dab your neck and wrists with this scent before a boating trip, and perhaps during a Caribbean vacation. (Sorry.)

Ryan Gosling. Oh, who cares what it smells like? If Ryan Gosling had anything to do with it, I'm sold.

Colin Firth. A more austere, noble scent. With aspects of rose and maybe even cinnamon, this is what you douse yourself with before heading into that meeting with your boss. Maybe she was going to fire you, but once she gets a whiff? Uh-uh. You've suddenly become the backbone of the company. Thanks, Mr. Darcy.

What other male celebs should come out with a perfume?

 

Image via americanistadechiaps/Flickr

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