Apocalypse Wow! What to Wear on Judgment Day

Emily Abbate

what to wear on judgement dayOh my gosh! May 21 is (almost) finally here! How stoked are you for Judgment Day?

You're obviously exhausted from watching a slew of Judgment Day movies in anticipation and making appropriate arrangements for your pet post-apocalypse. You and me both, girlfriend. But alas, there's one thing left to do (and it's a must): Figure out what to wear.

I mean, hello, this is the PERFECT time to take some serious fashion risks. Hell, if everything as we know it is coming to an end, then you may as well go out in style, right?

Expensive everything: If you haven't gotten the point of this whole shebang, it's that OMG THE WORLD IS ENDING. I may not have an extra thousand or two to spend on clothes every day, but helloooooo -- today is your LAST DAY! Take your money out of the stock market, forget your kid's college loans, and buy Gwyneth Paltrow's $18,000 spring wardrobe.

Nothing: OK, so this wouldn't be my first choice. But if you truly believe that the world is ending, then it's only appropriate to go out of this life just as you came in. And that, my friends, is in the buff. Nudie. In your birthday suit!

Sunglasses: When I picture the end of the world, I think of some bright flash of white light and all of a sudden everything around you is non-existent. Which is why sunglasses are a must. My pick: Ray-Ban Wayfarers, polarized of course, to keep the glare down.

A booby skirt: I suppose I would lump a skirt decorated with breasts in the "I would NEVER wear this if I had to see the people who see me in this piece of clothing again" category. But since today's the last day you'll see anyone, that's why it's so perfect. Who cares if anyone is judging you? That's what today's all about!

Heels: I feel sexy in heels. And God knows that I want to feel sexy right before I say goodbye to a life filled with big Italian dinners, coconut iced coffee, and rooftop happy hours. Of course, make sure your Judgment Day heels are comfortable. Blisters are so NOT something you want to deal with on May 21.

In all honesty, I would say wear whatever makes you happy on Judgment Day. If tomorrow was the end of it all, then I'd be donning a little black dress inherited from my mom circa 1994. Originally from the Victoria's Secret catalogue, I've only actually worn it twice, it fits like a glove, and makes me feel like a fox. I'd say feelin' foxy is a pretty good way to feel when life is over as we know it, wouldn't you? 

What would you wear if tomorrow was your last day on earth?

Image via Orin Zebest/Flickr

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