I've had my fair share of embarrassing high heel-induced spills, which have resulted in everything from the grabbing of random strangers for support to sprained baby toes. But at least I've never been in front of a room filled with famous people and photographers at the time.
I've always snickered at the gangly 6-foot-tall America's Next Top Model contestants when they just can't seem to get the whole walking thing right. But when you've got models dropping to their knees more times than a Charlie Sheen Goddess -- as was the case at the F4R Japan benefit in Cannes -- it isn't them, it's you, un-sensible shoes.
Poor Lindsey Wixson apparently fell a ridonkulous six times, while plenty of other models ate it or at least stumbled. I'd blame Naomi Campbell, the organizer of the event, on all of the spills, but I'm afraid of her.
Instead, shame on the overzealous shoe designers who seem to be putting form before function more and more these days.
I'm all for stunningly fierce stilettos, they are, what I like to call, my "standing" shoes. These are the shoes that I only dare wear if I'm going to just be standing (or, even better, sitting) around looking fabulous, when the only thing I have to worry about is managing my glass of Champagne. Walking -- especially up and down a runway --- should never be attempted in standing shoes. Apparently, it's not a safe activity for even the professionals.
Sure, there are some shoes that are simply works of art -- Lady Gaga's X-rated stems come to mind -- but most of us, including runway models, need what's on our feet to make some kind of sense.
Cars are test driven over and over before they're actually sold to the public. And no one would buy a couch that they couldn't actually sit on. I guess I always just assumed shoe designers actually had some peeps on staff to actually, you know, walk around in potential pairs. (I'm available, Mr. Louboutin, ahem.)
If that isn't the case, then we need to get these runway models some shoes that won't have them taking tumbles (it's a long way down for those ladies, ya know). Can a sister get some kitten heels? A nice stable wedge? C'mon Anna Wintour, we need your help here -- declare flats the new black and we'll all go home (or out, rather) happy.