Kentucky Derby Hats Could Top Royal Wedding Hats!

jessica simpsonHats are all the rage these days. Hats at the Royal Wedding. Hats at the Kentucky Derby. I really need to get myself invited to one of these events, so I can rock a fierce piece of head-wear. The odds of that seem slim, though, so I will be holding an event at my apartment next week, appropriately called, "Hat Party." You're all invited.

No, seriously. I'm dying to wear a hat. And not a boring ol' fedora. Like a real hat. Since that won't be happening until my Hat Party cometh, at least I'll get to ogle the hatshions of the Kentucky Derby. And after doing some research, these hats might be crazier than Princess Beatrice's and Princess Eugenie's. Put together! Let's compare ... and talk smack! Some celebrities just don't know how to do hats.


Exhibit A: A crazy lady in a crazy, swan-type hat -- if you can even call it that.

swan hat

This bugs me a bit, as this hat seems purely for shock value, as opposed to fashion and tradition value. This woman looks like she is wearing a lawn ornament on her head. She should have just cut out the middle man and worn a gnome.

Exhibit B: January Jones gets it all right ... except for the hat.

january jones

Aw, man, January. You had so much potential. The dress, the face, the general demure nature of your stance. Why did you have to go and wear this hat -- with your bangs in your face like that? It's not that it's even that bad of a hat; it just ... doesn't look right with this outfit. A smaller, white hat -- with maybe some netting? -- would have been much better suited for this event.

Exhibit C: Kelly Rowland. Yes, yes, and yes!

kelly rowland

This is how you do a Kentucky Derby hat! Thank you, Kelly! The white outfit, the neutral-toned hat, the pearls, the smile. Perfection! I kind of love you right now. Be my friend.

Exhibit D: Jessica Simpson basically gets it right, but she looks so pretty, so who cares?

jessica simpson

Okay, so she looks good -- really good. I mean, can we all just stare at this photo of Jess for a moment and feel bad about ourselves? I love the Southern Belle thing she's got going on here. I've just never been a big fan of pink, so a few points off for that.

What do you think of these hats?


Image via Jamie Squire/Getty

Image via Peter Kramer/Getty

Image via Mike Simons/Getty

Image via Mike Simons/Getty

Image via Mike Simons/Getty

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