Let's just come clean. We've all got our weird beauty rituals, right? ... Right? Please tell me I'm not the only person who has ever experimented with egg whites on her face or mayonnaise in her hair. Or was it the other way around?
I'm talking about things that we should keep to ourselves. Things that when people ask, "What's different about you?" you wouldn't dare sharing. Things you wouldn't dream of writing down in a blog post for thousands of people to read like someone idiot I know just did!
Enter Japan Trend Shop, a modern little site I stumbled upon today in my Internet travels. Sure, you can probably get a lot of these items elsewhere (Mars, maybe?), but this seems to be the go-to place for all things crazy beauty! Crazy things like this ...
Beauty Lift High Nose Electric Lift ($143)
Been mulling over rhinoplasty for ages, but just can't bring yourself to fork over the cash? You're in luck! For a mere $143, you can get the Beauty Lift High Nose! Just strap this gorgeous bad boy on for three minutes a day, and people will be asking you if you had work done in no time! (Of course, you will not reveal what you really did, because this thing is ridiculous.)
Houreisen Face Exercise Mask ($92)
Restylane, shmestylane. All you need for those smile lines is a Houreisen Face Exercise Mask. Deemed a "clever way to tighten up those sagging cheeks," this ... luchador-like contraption is the perfect companion before a big meeting or hot date. Just be prepared to keep your secret safe when your boss or lover asks, "Why do your cheeks look so luscious?"
Mejikara Anti-Wrinkle Glasses ($50)
Tired of looking tired? Can't stand the sight of your crow's feet? Throw on the Mejikara Anti-Wrinkle Glasses. According to the manufacturer, wearing the glasses "for 5 minutes every day will improve the appearance of your face." Just, please, don't wear them in front of me. Or anyone.
Etiquette Checker Bad Breath and Alcohol Test ($76)
I bet your boyfriend or husband can think of few things sexier than finding a device in your purse that lets you see if your breath is stank. And even sexier, using it in front of him! This little gem notifies you of the level of stankness on a scale of 1-6, 6 being really nasty. I'm going to go out on a limb here and advise all of you to save the $76 and just invest in some mints.
Mudage Jolie Body Hair Thinner ($48)
Speaking of hot and sexy, he-llo dude's body hair trimmer. I mean, come on, girls, you know it's always been a secret fantasy of yours to walk in on your man trimming his armpit or leg hair. De-lish! No, seriously, I am personally giving you permission to break up with anyone caught using this contraption. Trust me, you'll never look at him the same again.
What do you think of these crazy beauty products?
Images via Japan Trend Shop