Sometimes I feel bad for the dudes. They don't have it easy in the boudoir. They're always desperately trying to please the ladies (as they should be), and their undergarments and bodies are just so ... not cute.
Women are all curvy, and soft, and hair-free. We can wear frilly pairs of underwear and bras with lace. All in all, we're kind of awesome. Guys, though. Not so much. There's hair and ... protruding things. Not the most aesthetically pleasing thing to be around. And then there's their underwear! Oh, their underwear. Really, they can't win in that department. It's just not attractive, so the more unmentionable their unmentionables, the better. Stick to plain colors, guys. Blacks and grays. No one wants to see Santa Clauses or a Yankees logo when you drop trou. And no one -- I mean no one -- ever wants to see you in these five pairs of underwear ...
Samurai Underwear, $179
Yes, we know that you guys think samurais, and wizards, and anything else holding a long stick is cool, but these, however, are not. They are the opposite of cool. If I ever lay eyes on these bad boys in real life, I seriously am swearing off sex forever.
JeanPants Underwear, $61
If you're ever having a temporary moment of insanity, and think, "Hey, these JeanPants Underwear are kind of cool," just ... don't. Find a piece of paper right now and write down the words, "I will never buy JeanPants Underwear." When you're having a moment of weakness, refer back to it.
Trouser Snake Bikini, $19.95
Not only do I never want to hear the words "bikini" or "orange" used when describing men's underwear, I don't ever, EVER want to see anything with googly eyes, a smile, or a tongue. This pair of underwear is disgusting. And so is the dude wearing them! Ugh, tan and wax much?
Does Size Really Matter Underwear, $8.50
Yep. And now ya know!
Nylon/Lycra Zipper Thong, $16.95
Could you image if your man took off his pants and revealed this? All my husband would see is a chair spinning around and a flurry of divorce papers. GROSS! (And again with this guy!)
What do you think of all this crazy underwear?