Christina Hendricks Magical Breasts Can Sell Anything

Nicole Fabian-Weber

vivienne westwood jewelry
Imagine me under a set of big boobies
Hey, guys, I may be alone here, but I kind of think Christina Hendricks is pretty. Anyone else agree? Well, apparently, Vivienne Westwood does because she made the Mad Men star the face of her new "Get a Life" Palladium Jewelry Collection. The pictures are Too. Die. For. Maybe it's her fiery red hair, her milky white skin, or boobies for days, but you can't help but stop and stare when you come across the photos

My only complaint is that it's a little unclear what Hendricks is even selling. Upon first glance, I actually thought it was for makeup (which, Estee Lauder, if you're reading this, you're welcome). So, moments later, in a trance-like state, I thought, "Neeed. Eye Shadooow." Then, when I realized it was for jewelry, I found myself absentmindedly fingering my wrist, wishing there was a dangly bracelet on it. Bottom line: I'm buyin' whatever Christina Hendricks is sellin'!

Really, there's not many people more perfect for the job of selling stuff -- much better than boring models (unless the model is Kate Moss -- I love you, girl!). Some people, like Hendricks, and Angelina Jolie, you can't help but stop and stare at. To all you struggling companies out there -- just ask Christina Hendricks to hock your goods! It's no-fail! What other products can Hendricks revive? Ooh, I know!

Regular yogurt. I'm talking the old-school, watery, Dannon, fruit on the bottom variety. Not the Greek stuff the ladies seem to go gaga over. Imagine Christina Hendricks covered in eating a yogurt while lounging around on a Sunday morning in her PJs. Boom. Sales skyrocket.

VHS tapes. Wouldn't it be kooky and great if Christina brought back the crappy quality videos of our youth? Just because she can. I'm thinking Christina laying in a bathtub filled with VHS tapes. Or even just Christina Hendricks watching a VHS tape.

Perms. Picture it: Christina in a salon, getting her hair did. She's wearing a silk robe. Maybe some sweat socks (it's my commercial). You can almost smell the solution off the page. Next thing you know, you've made an appointment for Saturday at noon.

See, Christina Hendricks works every time! Of course Vivienne Westwood made the right choice hiring her. Who cares if it's not totally clear what she's selling! And who else would be able to make that flower crown tiara thing look so fierce?!

What do you think of Christina Hendricks modeling jewelry?


Image via Vivienne Westwood

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