A really cool lady.I have a confession to make. Despite my years of being vehemently against smoking and everything it comes with -- the smell, the teeth, the cancer -- I've always secretly found it "cool looking" if the right person's doing it. You know what I'm talking about. Occasionally, you come across a long, cool woman who may or may not be a model, stoge hanging out of her mouth, expression of apathy on her face. She looks so awesome. So mysterious. So ... European. It's a kind of cool I could never have because, well, I don't smoke.
However, in the last few years, what, with all the anti-smoking campaigns and bans, it seemed like I was in the clear -- I didn't have to smoke to be so cool because no one was really smoking anymore. But, wait, what's this? Smoking is back in, you say? Hot dog! You guys, I think I'm going to start smoking.
Maybe it's because of Lady Gaga's "Telephone" video, where she wears giant sunglasses made of lit ciagarettes? Or maybe it's because Kate Moss lit up on the runway during Paris Fashion Week? Or maybe it's because super successful, super cool French stylist Valentine Fillol Cordier says so: "Smoking will always be cool. On paper. In fashion. In photos. It's always been like that."
I mean, how could I not starting smoking? Sure, 32 seems a little late to pick up the habit, but who cares? I'll look cool! Really cool. And as far as the yellow teeth, smell, and wrinkles go, three words: Crest Whitestrips, Love's Baby Soft, and Botox. Win-win-win. I'm going to pick up my first pack on my way home from work. Any suggestions? I think I look kind of like a Pall Mall girl. Then, tomorrow, while at the office, I'm going to keep taking breaks to "step outside for a smoke." Ooh, and I'll make friends with the other smokers! Smokers are always friends. We can talk about how much we love smoking and how tragically hip we look doing so.
I'm not going to stop at smoking either. I'm going to take up drinking, too. And I'm not talking "a glass of wine after work" drinking, I'm talking drankin'. Mama needs her medicine kind of drinkin'. How fun am I going to be! I would totally want to hang out with me at a party.
Will all these new changes wind up affecting my home and work life? Probably. But, who cares -- I'm going to look awesome!
Do you think smoking is cool?
Image via Faint Sanity/Flickr