Real Men Should Never Wear Shorts

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tom fordI'm an anti-shortite. Not when it comes to women (I love shorts for the ladies), but I'm definitively an anti-shortite when it comes to men. Maybe it's because my dad never wore them, but I can't take a guy in short-pantaloons seriously. Swimsuit is fine, but that's the only instance outside the boudoir that I'd like to see a man's legs.

While we're at it, I'm an anti-sandalite too for men. Their toes should never be on display in public. If I see a guy in the city wearing khaki cargo shorts and flip-flops, I'm inclined to kick him in the nuts, grab him by the ear, and drag him into the nearest store where he can buy pants and shoes, and dress like a real man.

And I'm not alone. Guess who also feels this way? That's right: Stud of Style, Purveyor of Pretty, Fashion Mogul of Modernity ... one Mr. Tom Ford. He recently told AnOther Magazine his five rules for being a modern gentleman, and you can guess what men's fashion no-no was on the list.

Here are Tom's guidelines. Print out and place on fridge for your man to read and absorb:

  1. You should put on the best version of yourself when you go out in the world because that is a show of respect to the other people around you.
  2. A gentleman today has to work. People who do not work are so boring and are usually bored. You have to be passionate, you have to be engaged, and you have to be contributing to the world.
  3. Manners are very important and actually knowing when things are appropriate. I always open doors for women, I carry their coat, I make sure that they're walking on the inside of the street. Stand up when people arrive at and leave the dinner table.
  4. Don't be pretentious or racist or sexist or judge people by their background.

And last, but not least:

A man should never wear shorts in the city. Flip-flops and shorts in the city are never appropriate. Shorts should only be worn on the tennis court or on the beach.

Yes! I'm so happy this fashion genius has spoken out on behalf of the calves of men. In case you're haven't heard of Tom, he was the former Creative Director behind Gucci and YSL, and is now the CEO of the TOM FORD brand. In his spare time, this handsome devil also directs award winning movies, like The Single Man starring Colin Firth and Julianne Moore. Needless to say, his eye for fashion is flawless, and his words should be heeded.

Summer is right around the corner, and I think we need to spread the Tom Ford gospel on shorts and make sure we're all anti-shortites and sandalites before we spend another season looking at men looking like boys.

Do you have a problem with men who wear shorts and sandals, or not really?


Photo via Pascal Le Segretain/Getty

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