Bruce Jenner Scary Face Syndrome on the Rise

jennerLeave it to men to mess up a perfectly good thing. It's pretty much an indisputable fact that men age better than women -- they look distinguished with their gray hair and worldly with their wrinkles. But they're not able to leave it well enough alone, are they. Men's plastic surgeries are on the rise, up 2% in 2010 from the previous year.

If I want a guy that's more obsessed with his appearance than I am, I'll date Bruce Jenner. The fact that men think they're improving their looks with face lifts and fillers is incomprehensible. Not only are they ruining their faces, but they're ruining their chances of getting laid -- a vain guy is a lonely guy.

What are these pretty boys thinking?


I suppose the aging baby boomers set has something to do with the recent increase in male surgeries. And if you thought that a 2% uptick didn't sound like much of a leap, most of the individual procedures grew tremendously.

Time magazine reports that face lifts increased 14%, ear surgery went up 11%, fillers like Botox and Juvederm posted a 10% gain, liposuction went up 7%, and my favorite, breast reduction, increased 6%.

Before I had any of the hard data, I knew I was seeing more and more men walking around NYC and on TV with fillers and face lifts. It is such a turn-off. You know the old saying that you don't want a man that takes longer in the bathroom than you do (or was that just something my mom said) -- well that's evolved to become I don't want a man that has more fillers and face-work than the Kardashian family.

Speaking of the K-Klan, that show can serve as a warning for any man out there considering plastic surgery. You know the husband and dad on the show who flies the helicopters and sometimes talks about his former years as an athlete? Yeah, that's Bruce Jenner. You just didn't recognize him because of his manfillers and manlifts.

chAnd Kim's PR rep, Jonathan Cheban? That little weasel of a man freaks me out. I guess I'm alone in that because he got his own show, The Spin Crowd, but he's hard to look at. He's more plumped up than Kirstie Alley on Dancing With the Stars.

Let the images of these men serve as the "after photo" no one wants to see of themselves. I am not on board with this trend and hope that men, for once, stop trying to copy women.

Do find men who've had plastic surgery more or less attractive?

First photo via Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty, second via Jeff Gentner/Getty

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