Lady Gaga Beauty Routine Is Missing Meat

Lindsay Mannering

lady gagaLady Gaga is as famous for her music as she is her outfits. The pop-star has worn everything from Alexander McQueen hoof heels to meat to a giant condom, and has recently declared she wants to sleep in an egg.

I'm curious about what goes on inside the Gaga's brain. On some level I know we could be besties, like I could be there when she takes off all the makeup and hair extensions, and meat, and we could just talk about normal things and what it all means to be famous. I'd be her grounding force. We'd discuss current events over Wendy's spicy chicken sandwiches and window shop on Fifth Ave. 

Clearly when Lady Gaga talked to People magazine about her beauty routine, I was all, what's my girl up to? Here's what I learned:

  • Wash your face about once a month with Ivory soap*
  • *Wear your makeup to bed most nights
  • Don't go tanning
  • Use sunscreen to prevent wrinkles
  • Get foot massages to boost mood
  • Mascara and fake-lashes are sooo 2000
  • Eyeliner is the new cure-all
  • If you dye your brown hair blond, it will fall out
  • You must get "chemical cuts" when that happens
  • Princess Diana should be everyone's style icon
  • Have good genes if you want good skin

Pretty sage advice, no? Honest at least. Interesting that she doesn't mention smelling like bloody semen, which was the scent she had pegged for her personal fragrance. Also interesting that she doesn't talk about styling meat into one's wardrobe and how to refrigerate said meat if someone, say, tried to make the dress themselves, then, say, failed and it stank up their apartment and made the neighbor's dog go absolutely nuts. I think someone could've used tips on the meat.

If you'll excuse me, I have to go wash off my mascara now and find some good skin genes (and possibly a new apartment if the smell doesn't go away on its own).

What do you think of Lady Gaga's beauty tips?

Photo via Splash News

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