‘America’s Next Top Model’ Recap: Is This High Fashion Or a Nuthouse?

Sasha Brown-Worsham
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It was makeover week on the third episode of the new season of America's Next Top Model and, predictably, there was a whole lot of whining, pouting and tears.

My hair is too long! My hair is too short! It doesn't look natural! It's not "me" enough!

Good lord. It isn't surgery ladies, it's just extensions. This entire episode made one thing abundantly clear: the people who populate the world of high fashion are stark raving mad. If you don't believe me, look no further than one of the most famous hat designers of all time -- the Mad Hatter of Alice in Wonderland fame. Lewis Carroll sure had it right on that front.

I kid, but I am also serious. These people are batsh#% and the constant fawning and praising they do over one another is fairly nauseating.

Makeovers are fun. Makeovers when you have no options and no say in what happens to your "look" and you are on a national show that requires beauty to come from within, are less so. Poise, ladies! Confidence! Grace! And presence! You may balk a bit at the thought of changing your look too much as well.

But that does not stop one Tyra Banks from forcing the 11 remaining girls outside of their comfort zone into bobs and weaves and spiky cuts they don't want.

Then it was time for the haute couture shoot, which, as usual consisted of a whole lot of ego stroking, this time of fashion stylist Lori Goldstein, who was a guest judge and by my estimation, a bit of a "mad hatter" herself.

"A little John Galliano never hurt anybody," she said as she styled the shoot. Oh, I know it was filmed prior to the whole scandal where he claimed to love Hitler and got fired from Dior, but high fashion people just weird me out.

They seem to think what they do is as important as people who perform brain surgery or treat cancer victims. And that is not even the part that bugs me. If they stayed in their own little glitter-strewn bubble and left people alone it would be fine, but they are so snobby and dramatic. Here they are judging these girls -- "you were not confident enough"; "you are too mean" and on and on they went. Let's just say it is hard to take anything a man wearing a feather in his cap has to say very seriously.

Oh and I know fashion editor Andre Leon Talley basically owns the fashion world, but half the time it just feels like these people must be joking. Dominique was eliminated for alleged lack of confidence, but I secretly suspect it was her freckles. 

What did you think of this episode?

 

 

Image via CW

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