That Sexy Facebook Photo Won’t Make People Love You

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woman bikiniThere's no question that women are the primary photo sharers on social networks like Facebook; however, is there an underlying reason when, whoops, that sexy bikini shot from your family vacation gets slipped into your shared uploads? An academic study of over 300 college students found that women who base their self-worth on their looks tend to share more photos of themselves online and keep larger networks on social networking sites like Facebook.

I'd argue that college women aren't the only ones guilty of this behavior. What's really going on with all those sexy mama photos on Facebook, huh?

Most of my online friends are moms, and I've still seen several of them go crazy posting sexy photos of themselves in low-cut tops, bathing suits, and overtly sexual poses. So what is it, moms? Is it all good fun in the Internet age? Or maybe we really just need a good ego boost every now and then? Is it as innocent as that? Or is it more complicated and after career and marriage and babies and lives far beyond the nightlife scene, we're still defining ourselves by how we look, or maybe even more so?

I mean, I know when I post a photo of the delicious chocolate cake I'm eating (as I've been known to do and as Jezebel deems to be my own self-conscious style of branding), I'm hoping to make my Facebook friends say, "Mmmm." Isn't that what women are also hoping when they show off a little extra skin on Facebook?

Oh, who can blame us -- even in all our modern 2011 feminist glory -- with all the Yummy Mummies and celebrity moms who fit back into their pre-pregnancy jeans three hours after delivery? Doesn't it feel good, especially after the monstrosity of pregnancy and getting back into some sort of shape, to show it off a little and (hopefully) get a nice comment or two on our Facebook page?

On the other hand, coming across these types of photos of a friend on Facebook can also be really disconcerting. I'm not a prude, but I don't lead with sexuality. Never have. It's just not my thing. I've never truly believed that being comfortable in one's sexuality has to be tied to having your boobs hanging out. So I'm not always that comfortable when other people do it constantly -- especially in a public space for no apparent reason. I mean, to each her own and "Women's Lib!" and all that, but it definitely leads me to wonder why they're doing it. Do they need to do it? Are they addicted to the "go hot mama" love and the "lookin' good!" praise they get?

I'd love to think women are finally evolved enough to be sharing sexy photos without their primary motivation being to feel better about themselves, but I'm just not convinced that's what's going on.

What do you think when women post lots of sexy photos of themselves on social networking sites? Innocent fun or what's really going on?


Image via 3Neus/Flickr


beauty, body, self esteem, web

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RanaA... RanaAurora

I have a certain family member I wish I could show this to. *mutter grumble*

kisse... kisses5050

these are the same ones who seem to not have pics of the kids and have status updates that read " "Just finished workin' out" when she really finished running a mini van full of kids to chuck cheese

xavie... xavierlogan09

i agree with you. i've seen some women who have a million pictures of themselves in sexy poses and tons of make up but hardly any of their children. i have a ton of pictures of my son. i don't have a lot of myself. i know what i look like. i don't need to take sexy pictures to feel good about myself. i know i'm not gorgeous but i'm mostly comfortable with the way i look. 

LindA... LindAngeLevi

A lot of ppl on my friends list do this its rather annoying. I not very comfortable in my skin and I know ppl think I'm gorgeous but I don't have to show my body (definitely not my breasts that's my sons food!) To feel better about myself. I'd much rather my fiance walk through the door and say wow babe you look good!

Histo... HistoryMamaX3

LOL I call this friend porn. :-) I have friends and family members that think I wanna see their stuff. But, we live in a society where sex is what makes headlines- posing and looking like you're ready to get it on is what's trendy. *shudders*

campo... campomommy

I disagree with the first few comments. I have a few sexy pics on my profile but no where near how many kid pics I have! So maybe I don't really fall into this catergory.. I think being healthy and in shape is important and afterhaving two babies I am damn proud of my body. Besides sometimes yeah, I do just want a pick me up comment. So like everything else we just need to find a good balance

lovin... lovinangels

I think the people that post picture after picture of themselves are narcissists. And I feel bad for them. Really, really bad.


Take a picture of someone else. Anyone else. Have fun in a group or something. One more bedroom eyes picture at the camera, and I'm going to tell you that's WHY your single. Because you're too wrapped up in yourself.


But a single shot of yourself looking hot on vacay, along with dozens of pics of all the fun you had? Well, that's worth a, "girl, look at you! stunning!" from me. I vote it as a show of confidence. This is me, I look good.


and no, I don't have any. Just my general impressions.

littl... littlelambe

I think it's downright trashy. For anyone. Moms or not.

Jessica Tracy

Come on! If this were a pic of my friend I would tell her how smoking hot she looks after having 2 kids. If she's got 500 family pics and she let this one in good for her. There is nothing wrong with being proud of how you look and letting your Facebook friends know. I understand being a bitch about it if here entire facebook was sexy pics of her, but come on! How snooty do we got to be to not be happy for someone who is who looks better than us. You say narcissistic like it's a bad thing. I challenge you all to post a pic today that you think you look smokin' hot in. Show it off! Take that pic down of your kids and show yourself of! It'll only be women like you that judge. Your real friends will tell you how good you look.

bwill626 bwill626

Well said, Jessica!

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