hair There are some serious crimes being committed every day, yet no one is talking about them. I'm guilty of these atrocities myself, and it's time we all come clean. Hair hatred. We punish it with heat, we damage it with dye, and we abuse it with brushes. The latest felony perpetrated, which also happens to be the latest fad, is the Brazilian blowout.

I've considered getting it done -- I feel like I get an email every hour alerting me to salons that are offering discounts on the Brazilian blowout -- and have even made an appointment. I backed out only because I find commitments hair-raising (get it?) and didn't want to be stuck with straight locks for too long. It had nothing to do with the fact that the process is essentially a cocktail of chemicals that could kill, then embalm, a small city.

Why do we hate our hair so much that we're willing to go to such lengths to change it?

In Asia, a culture with straight hair, perms are popular, and in Brazil, a culture with unruly hair, straightening is popular. The hair is always curlier or straighter on the other side of the fence, or the world, as it seems. Why did we all get like this? And how?

Some might say we pay the big salon bills and risk our health for chemical treatments because of the time-saving properties those styles afford us. Yes, after a Brazilian blowout, your hair stays salon straight, even after you let it air dry. Pretty easy, very fast. But if all we really wanted was a simpler morning routine that didn't suck up so much time with hair dryers and gels, we'd cut our tresses super short. I'm inclined to think that making things easier for ourselves is 60% of the motivating factors. Ten percent is staying on trend, and the remaining 20% is that sweet sweet crime: hair hatred.

Personally, I find it's fun to have control over that enmity. To feel such powerful negativity at times can feel like a sense of relief. Finally! I can hate on something, guilt free! Hating my hair gives me a focal point for my ultimately misguided anger. And when things spin out of control (breakups, lay-offs, death, whatever it is), I still have my hair to hate. But while the realities of life can't be changed, hair can. Hair today, gone tomorrow. So I cut out celebrity magazine pictures, drench my head in carcinogens, and pay my stylist to wash the problems right out of my hair.

And when I leave the salon, my life feels 60% easier, 20% prettier, and 20% happier. For a month or two, at least. Because I totally hate my hair right now.

What's the story with your hair hatred?


Photo via *Saffy*/Flickr