Lady Gaga is the cover model for the March issue of Vogue and frankly ...
I want to gag gag.
The woman is truly talented -- I'll give her that -- and I think her music is catchy.
But that doesn't mean I want to see Gaga's ridiculous, gimmicky get-ups in every single magazine and on every single website every damn day.
And I especially don't want to see her on the cover of my fashion bible.
As annoying as this cover is, though, I have to admit ...
The cover story is waaaaaaay worse.
Want to see an excerpt?
Read on ...
Written by Jonathan Van Meter (who seems every bit as full of hot air as Gaga), he begins his story by describing her grand arrival for her Vogue interview, a full hour after she was scheduled to arrive ...
Suddenly the curtains part and Lady Gaga makes her entrance, mincing into the room holding a porcelain teacup and saucer in one hand and a wineglass for me in the other. (Like fainting on command or dropping a glove, the long-lost art of making an entrance, which Gaga seems to have single-handedly revived, is a remarkably effective way to shift the conversation.) “I don’t like the idea of you having to drink wine out of a plastic cup,” she says as she makes her way toward me, one tiny step at a time. She proffers her powdered cheeks for a kiss-kiss as a bottle of Sancerre is opened, which she insists on serving to me herself. “Pouring your own wine is bad luck,” she says.
What did I tell you?
Van Meter goes on to report admiringly that New York-born-and-bred Gaga also speaks with "clipped, proper diction" that recalls Madonna's fake British accent.
And throughout the extensive interview, she talks about herself like she's God. Occasionally in the third person.
Don't get me wrong, I hope Lady Gaga will keep putting out great dance music for many years to come. I also wouldn't mind seeing her perform in concert -- from the sound of it, it's an elaborate spectacle of special effects, outrageous costumes, and artistry that's fully worth the price of the ticket.
But after that concert, I would like for Gaga to put on sweatpants and a hoodie and go home. And if I have to see her in the magazines, I'd love to see her act like a normal person for a change. How about Gaga in jeans and a sweater, cuddling with a puppy she's rescued from the pound? Or Gaga going for a run in Central Park? Or Gaga speaking to a group of schoolchildren about how hard she's worked to get where she is today?
Is that so much to ask?
The Gaga in Vogue's cover story sounds like she has an ego the size of Texas. It's a turn-off.
Come back down to earth, Gaga. You're blocking our air space.
Image via Vogue