Smart-Ass Attire for Your Next TSA Scan

tsa clothingIs it me or has the TSA taken a ride on the crazy train (which, by the way, they don't really monitor) to Outercrazylandia? I mean come on. I was fine with the shoes, if totally inconvenienced. Even the laptop. I grudgingly threw away my water before the checkpoint so that I could have the privilege of dropping $4 on another one afterward.

Thank God those geniuses at the TSA realized that I’ve been smuggling bomb-making supplies around the country ... in my vagina. I don't even really care if they see my nekkid bits. But I do care about the principle of the thing. Between the x-rays and the now-famous groping incidents, the TSA is starting to look a little like Congress.

Which is what makes these products so devilishly fun!


Zazzle and Cafe Press are already loaded up with smart-ass shirts and gear targeting the TSA, but the coolest stuff is being put out by 4th Amendment Wear. It totally plays to your inner Constitution geek and your TSA outrage.

Their biggest products are the line of shirts, socks, and underwear printed in metallic inks. When you are x-rayed at the scanning station, you'll look a bit like this:

tsa clothing


The text is actually the 4th amendment to the Constitution:

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

The underwear they offer will rock your socks (no, really, they have socks). Maybe it's just because I'm a woman, but the bra and panties have totally made it onto my Christmas list this year. They are also printed in metallic ink, so not only will your voice be heard during the x-ray, but when they rudely search you, the message will be right in their faces.

tsa clothing

After reading the fabulous piece on toddlers being accosted by TSA agents, this little gem also went on the list (never fear, it's also available for adults):

tsa clothing

It might not stop the groping and generally bad behavior of the government, but it feels good to protest in some small way. We may have lost our 4th amendment rights to the TSA, but at least we still have our first.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to drive this bomb in my car to the train. Because only bombs on planes cause damage, right?


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