Teva = UglyAlright, Teva sandal lovers. It's time we talked. About your Teva sandals. I have something very important to tell you. And here it is.
Your Teva sandals are ugly.
No, I don't want to hear that crud about comfort. Comfort can be had in a much lovelier way. For starters, you have to demand it by saying hell no to ugly Teva sandals and telling Teva to use their innovative technology for good instead of awful.
But why have I picked today to tell you the ugly truth about your Teva sandals? Well, because the maker of this frightful footwear has unveiled something even more nightmarish than their Velcro-bound rubber sandal. That's right. They've done it again. Used their powers to ugly up the universe. Take a look for yourself.
Teva, performance footwear creators, has teamed up with Grey Ant, a hipster clothing brand based in New York, to introduce a performance high heel stiletto of the most ridiculous woven strap extremes. And they have the nerve not only to charge $330 a pair, but also to market them with thick outdoorsy socks! Ouch!
This is starting to hurt. Real bad.
Can you believe it? Of all the gawd-awful creations ever made ... wait a minute ...
Alright, alright, I get it now. Where's the hidden camera? It's one big joke on me, right? A big, funny joke, like those fake commercials they try to slip on in the middle of Saturday Night Live. Hahaha. Good one. You got me.
Uh, this is a joke, isn't it? Isn't it??!!