Husbands' Opinions on Our Style: Why Do We Care?

Beauty & Style 47

Ear Pierce
When I told you last week that my ears weren't pierced, I had no idea that I was opening a sort of Pandora's box of ear piercing tales.

Dozens of you responded here on The Stir with your own ear piercing stories, dozens more sounded off on my personal blog, and over at Yahoo! Shine, which syndicated The Stir's post, more than a hundred women (and a few men) have voiced an opinion.


"I can't believe the response this post has gotten!" I said to my husband over the weekend as I scrolled through some of the comments. "Apparently, it's something lots of women have an opinion on, but it doesn't really come up that often in conversation."

And that's when Hubs asked me a question that shocked me.

"Will you ever get your ears pierced again?" he asked.

I gave him a funny look. "Uh. No," I said.

"But you said your doctor made it so you could," he said.

"But why would I want to potentially go through all that again?" I asked. "Infection, scarring, more surgery. And the scarring hurt. I couldn't even wear clip-ons over that ear because it hurt so bad."

Hubs shrugged.

"What?" I said. "You think I should get my ears pierced again? Why? What's wrong with my clip-ons? They're fine -- you can't even tell they're clip-ons."

"Your clip-ons are not my favorite part of your wardrobe," Hubs said. "I just wish I could buy you sexy earrings sometimes, that's all."

And suddenly, I felt ... frumpy.

So all these years, I'd thought my earlobes looked cute enough in my collection of modest silver hoops, tasteful little diamonds, and retro-looking clusters of pearls.

And all these years, my husband hated them.

Had he secretly been wishing for some other woman? Some ... hussy woman with pierced ears? And ... and ... sexy earrings! What the hell were sexy earrings, anyway?

Sassy Assy

Oh. Hmm. Probably a good thing my ears were unpierced.

Anyway, the whole incident made me realize that while readers can tell me an outfit I love looks ugly and I don't even flinch, all my husband has to say is, "Your clip-ons aren't my favorite," and I'm devastated.


And ... why? Hubs doesn't know the first thing about fashion!

Am I alone here or does your husband hold the same power over your fashion choices? Is there something he's said about one of your outfits that's stuck with you like super glue? Tell me about it -- and we can pout together!


Image via Claire Schmitt/Flickr

accessories, horrors, confessional


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JenBr... JenBrooks76

My husband doesn't particularly care for my nose piercing, or the tattoo I got done on my back. Hpmph. He deals well enough, but I know how he feels.

Krick... KricketMother09

there isn't much that he doesn't like about how I dress, or wear my hair.  I have two peircings in each ear, I got the second done when I was with him.  He totally didn't care.  His only 'rule' is not to look like a slut.  Which, thus far, we've been totally in sync with :)

stacys29 stacys29

I had my ears pierced as a kid so he couldn't say anything. I even had them pierced a 3rd time & he still didn't care. He draws the line though if I wanted to do my entire ear but I don't like that look myself so no worry. 

princ... princess_blue

If i let my husband decide I would go out in what I woke up in and no hair done matted bed head and all. he always tells me how sexie I look


My husband never makes any comments other than to tell me I look hot.  I have even asked him over the years for opinions, like whether he likes my hair better short or long and he tells me he loves it both ways and to do what I like best. 

nonmember avatar Tracy

I totally know how you feel! I came home with a few of those floaty shirts and thought they looked cute. He HATES them and says I look boxy. I hardly wear them.

nonmember avatar linda

Yesterday I put on a new scarf from Charlotte Russe. I thought it was just the greatest, kind of ruffly with crochet things kind of hanging here and there. My husband asked if I were wearing old underwear. OLD UNDERWEAR, what? It didn't stop me from loving the scarf but now everytime I look at it I think about old underwear.

butte... butterflyspiral

My husband's comments have the exact same effect on me.  I don't think he has any sense of style what so ever.  But there has been more than one occasion when I though an outfit was fabulous and then because of a comment he made I never wore it again. 

He'd get upset with me and be like I didn't tell you it looked horrible I just told you it wasn't my favorite.  He never can understand why it would make me so upset.  One night I asked if I looked alright and his exact words were "I don't know why you're so worried it's going to be dark in an hour any way." He couldn't uderstand at all why I had to go completely get ready again.

Lynette Lynette

all earings make my ears itch.  I might wear them once a yr and only for a couple hours before I have to take them out.  If I wear them too long that one day a yr I end up w/ these odd bumps on my lobes.  I sometimes wonder if they will ever close up.  It wouldn't bother me if they did.  I actully hope my daughter never wants hers pierced.  

Lynette Lynette

oh oh and DH bought me earings once and I was very thankful for my sensitive ears, lol.  As a wedding gift to me he gave a pair of guardian angel earings.  You know those pins older ladies like to wear that are little angels.  Good gravy they were tacky.  but I told him I LOVED them but just couldn't wear them due to my sensitive ears.  great excuse :)  I do sometimes wish I could wear diamond studs.  But I would hate to spend money on them to find out they make me itch too.

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