While my husband and I were chatting with another married couple we're friendly with at a cocktail party, the wife began talking about this blog.
"I read your posts all the time," she said, "and I want to know what you think about the Brazilian blowout."
"Ooooh," my husband said, grinning at her husband. "Get it."
I looked over at him and furrowed my brow. He was obviously thinking about the Brazilian wax, a subject I've written about on more than one occasion. And since my posts were humorous, he logically thought she was mentioning it as an intro to a good laugh about pubic grooming.
Oh, this was not good. This was not good at all.
"Trust me," my husband continued, oblivious to my laser beam death glare. "You'll both love it."
"Really?" the woman said, surprised. "Because I wasn't sure it would work for me. And they're so expensive."
"Oh it'll work all right," my husband said, laughing and giving her husband a knowing look. "Because it ..."
"I DON'T BELIEVE," I said loudly to my husband through gritted teeth, "that she's talking about what you think she's talking about." I turned to the wife and continued without pausing, "I haven't gotten to try a Brazilian blowout ON MY HAIR, because it's so straight, it wouldn't make sense -- but some of my friends who've had them say they're fantastic. And they last a long time, too."
My husband stood silent and a little shell-shocked. He'd come this close to completely humiliating himself.
"Well, maybe I'll try it then," she said, patting her hair and, thankfully, oblivious to what had just happened. "Because my hair's so frizzy, I need something good."
Yes, while my husband is knowledgeable about many things, fashion and beauty aren't among them. He tries, God love him, because these topics clearly are near and dear to my heart, but I'm afraid he'll never be able to tell the difference between jeggings and skinny jeans, or a peplum jacket versus a boyfriend blazer, or a Brazilian blowout and a Brazilian wax ...
And to be honest, I like it that way.
Metrosexuals are all the rage right now, and I see plenty of men out and about lately who look like they took longer to get ready than any of my girlfriends.
Personally, I find that totally unsexy.
Give me a man who sticks to a standard wardrobe of jeans, khakis, oxfords, and t-shirts, a man who often is a day past due for a shave, a man who can be out of bed and out the door in under 30 minutes, and I'm swooning.
Fashion and beauty? That's my department. My husband can stick with planning our travel itineraries and changing light bulbs. And I guess I can put up with his coral pants and his zoobas, if he'll JUST KEEP QUIET THE NEXT TIME SOMEONE BRINGS UP BRAZILIANS AT A COCKTAIL PARTY, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.
Does your man love fashion, or is he clueless? What do you prefer in a man?
Image via texas_mustang/Flickr