When Your Man Looks Better Than You Do

Sasha Brown-Worsham
7

Men are not supposed to look better than us, so when they primp and moisturize and wax and blow their hair out more than we do, it can be a massive turn-off.

On the other hand, nobody wants the guy who rolls out of bed, throws on the same clothing he wore the last few days (crumpled on the floor in his bedroom), and "forgets" to shower.

It's a spectrum. On one end, we have the boys of Jersey Shore, who make male primping (GTL, baby!) an art form. On the other we have Keanu Reeves.

An anonymous male friend who was in the navy said he was once stationed on a ship with a guy "who used more moisturizing hand lotion than a professional hand model."

Not. Cool. Dude.

Certain routines are just in the ladies only domain. Sorry boys.

So, where do we draw the line? I asked around and found the 15 Biggest Male Beauty Turn-Offs as revealed by real, anonymous woman. They include:

  1. If his haircut costs more than mine: John Edwards' $400 haircut destroyed his chance of being the president far faster than his illegitimate child and mistress ever did.
  2. Went tanning (or wore more bronzer than me): Hear us, Situation?? There may be a small subset of odd women who find you attractive, but trust me, in the real world (not the MTV one), if you approached in a bar, most of us would run away.
  3. Facial mask: We all want clear skin. We get it. But take a washcloth and scrub. Green masks are reserved for the ladies. Sorry guys!
  4. Mixed on manicures, but pedicures -- no way: Some women said manicures were OK -- "hanging cuticles are a deal-breaker!" one said -- but the idea of a guy getting his tootsies buffed and polished? No way.
  5. Eyebrow waxing: If the guy has a unibrow, then yes, by all means, pluck that baby out. But full-on shaping? Um, No. No way. "I dated a guy once who was obsessed with his eyebrows, would smooth them over in the mirror ... that was weird," a friend said.
  6. Stocked medicine cabinet: The essentials -- painkiller, shaving cream, a razor or two -- are fine. When you get too far into beauty products -- to the point where he could fill a Caboodles or two -- then he must be stopped.
  7. Time in the bathroom: If you're a man and you think you're taking too much time in the bathroom, here's a good rule of thumb: how ever much time it takes your woman to get ready? You should take half that. Period. No exceptions.
  8. Constantly asking, "Does this make me look fat?": Dude, it's annoying when we do it so we definitely don't want you doing it, too.
  9. Used more than two hair products (shampoo counts): Shampoo is invited to the party, of course, but it only gets one "plus one." If it's conditioner, fine (not really, but we'll say it is). Gel? Hairspray? Whatever. But just one more beyond shampoo. After that, you're primping, dude. 
  10. Owned more than one cologne he bought for himself: Cologne is one of those things we buy for the guy and then immediately regret. Personally, if I smell cologne on a guy, I'm instantly less attracted to him. I like man smell all by itself. No perfume needed.
  11. Waxed chest: No. Just no. Not ever. Just ew.
  12. Wearing those blindfold sleep covers: I wear these. They are girly and silly and princess-esque. They are not for men. Yes, even if it means losing some of your beauty rest.
  13. Folding his underwear: I can't stand a man who expects me to put away his clean laundry, but when he carefully folds his underwear and places it just so? Well, that is even worse.
  14. Jewelry: Other than a wedding ring, you should not, I repeat, should not, have jewelry of any kind. This especially includes gold necklaces and pinky rings. Facial piercings (and other piercings) are exceptions.
  15. Skinny jeans: They may do it in Italy and France and you may think it's continental and sophisticated. But it isn't. Trust me.


What beauty rituals/routines would be deal-breakers for you?

 

Image via MTV.com


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