Look at your hands. Are your fingernails long enough to thwart a mugger? Are they neatly squared-off at the ends? Are they bathed in bubblegum pink or florescent fuchsia? Do they have little flowers or American flags painted on them? You need a nail reality check, girl, and you're not going to like it.
If you care about trends, your nails should not be fun or sexy or alluring. Snip those babies to the nub right away. Don't even think about putting artwork on them. The hottest nail style for fall can be summed up in one over-emphasized word: Sullen.
And finally, for once in my life, I fit right in!
Just look at these pictures of drop-dead gorgeous models whose fingernails look just as bad -- or worse -- than mine do right now. I'm in nail heaven.
I've never been partial to claws. They get in the way. They break. They make me type funny. They give my kids injuries. And they look out of place on me. I am one of the least fashion-conscious people, but I still like to think that I have my own unique style. Usually that falls somewhere between comfy-casual-whimsical and practical slob, and that description ventures all the way down to my fingernails.
So when I saw some backstage pictures of Dashing Diva models from New York Fashion Week getting their pretty fingies done, I nearly scratched my eyes out with joy! Lucky for me I had no nails.
I think I was the only person in the world who was sad when M.A.C./Rodarte decided to cancel the launch of their controversial "Juarez" makeup line that included muted, ghostly, industrial colors like "Factory Grey" and "Ghostown" earlier this year.
Luckily, the trend itself didn't get canceled, and plenty of other cosmetic companies released similar colors, except with names that won't irritate the human rights activists, such as "East Side Envy" and "Sweet Sultan."
Sullen is just my way of describing this trend. I think it's lovely. Another way to think of it is neutral, ethereal, and feminine. Either way, one can't deny that it's understated and anything but flashy and cheery.
One of my must-gets is something called Fairy Moss by Priti, what I can only describe as a grey with a dash of coppery pink and so sullen it's driving me crazy with excitement right now! For those of you who absolutely balk at the idea of wearing colors that remind you of power plants or aircraft carriers on your nails (my mother will NEVER wear these new colors), you can opt for one of the softer, paler pinks that are also hot this fall and remind me of fairies. Can we thank Sookie Stackhouse for that?
Do you love this new nail trend or does it depress the hell out of you?
Images via Dashing Diva