'Project Runway' Recap: Attack of the Brides(maid)zilla

Jill Baughman
5

Project RunwayThe show opens up with everyone hating on Michael C., the one his team crucified last week, and Gretchen, the evil ringleader of said team. Casanova won last week, so he has immunity.

Heidi presents the next challenge. The task is to re-configure bridesmaid dresses and turn them into something they'd actually wear again. No, really this time.

Oh goody. Two years of working at The Knot, a wedding website, may actualy come in handy for this episode!

These dresses truly are hideous. Like, crazy bad. The fabric, the colors, the ribbons, the fit, the pleats, my poor eyes! Brides really must not want anyone to steal the spotlight on their big day.

For this project, they were given $50 and only two yards of fabric. Christopher's model, for whatever reason, gets cold feet, and Tim quickly finds a replacement. Though it seems like Michael D. wishes his model would bow out instead. He unfortunately can't seem to get over her size. Tim said he should be excited not to design for someone who's a size 6. Michael D. claims he is, but it's clear to everyone he's lying through his teeth.

Dear god let me never be a non-size 6 model on this show.

Then Gretchen's mother talks to her spawn and gives her encouragement via web cam. It's hilarious to see Gretchen petrified of Tim, but of course he was completely professional and cool after his rant last week.

Tim tells the group that he has a surprise: First, they will have to show off their outfits at a designer showcase. The guests will then vote on their favorites, which will factor into the judges' deliberation.

The guests at the showcase have buttons they put into a fishbowl to indicate their favorite. Ivy realizes that Michael C. has been getting a lot of buttons. Apparently she hears that he's telling people she's the bitch of the show. I think Ivy is trying to get everyone to hate Michael and made it up, but wow, he sure has made a lot of enemies. And I don't really see why -- Ivy just comes off as crazy and paranoid, but somehow gets a lot of people to agree with her. Down, psycho. Stick to your craft.

The runway show begins. The guest judge is Cynthia Rowley, who just launched her own line of bridesmaid dresses.

Here are the bottom 3:

Michael D: Heidi believes the dress looked better before. Michael K. says it went from bridesmaid to bar mitzvah. Rowley thinks it definitely doesn't work. Well, since you asked, I think Michael D. was way too resigned with his model's size to begin with. It seems like he didn't even try, and this dress makes her look bigger. Major fail.

Peach Project Runway

Peach: Michael K. at least likes the model's hair -- but that's about it. He says there's nothing sexy about it. The avocado dinner napkins tucked into her hips were terrible. "She's got an avocado goiter," he quips. Heidi calls it a bedskirt. You know you're in trouble when "goiter" and "bedskirt" are used to describe your outfit. But seriously, it looks like she stuffed ruffled napkins into her pockets.

Valerie Project Runway

Valerie: Michael K. doesn't like the "color-blocking." He thinks it looks like a maternity bra and is "unfortunate." Rowley would've made the top smaller and the skirt longer. Nina thinks the dress makes her look shorter and broader than she already is. Heidi didn't hate it as much a everyone else though. I thought the color-blocking was hella strange and makes her chest look disproportionate.

The top 3:

Chris Project Runway

Christopher: Rowley really likes this dress, calling it a deconstructed bridesmaid dress (in a good way). She thinks it's perfect on the model. Nina thinks the bottom half is too short, even though Heidi loves it short. She thinks it's sexy but elegant. I'd feel a little self-conscious with that top, with that one boob kind of hanging out, but if I had this body, I'd definitely try to work it. But I don't, so ...

Mondo Project Runway

Mondo: He got the most votes at the public showcase. And I can see why -- out of all of them, this dress is one I most likely would buy. Nina thinks it looks modern and is a good transformation. Heidi likes how he reversed the dress to get rid of the shine. Rowley says he made it sleek and cool and tough. Such a smorgasbord of adjectives!

Michael Project Runway

Michael C: The one every other designer thinks sucks, Heidi says he made something "edgy" and "hip." She liked the lace on top to make up for how short the dress is. Michael K. observes he took an old-fashioned dress and turned it into a sexy cocktail dress. Rowley likes the "fake" pocket. I like the dress and it looks well made, but wow, it's really really short. That girl better be careful when bending over.

Michael C. wins! Vindication! Think his entire team throwing him under the bus had anything to do with it? Will Gretchen, Ivy, and everyone else shut up about his lack of skill? I doubt it ... and no one is happy for him.

I feel like Gretchen and Ivy will get matching I HATE MICHAEL C. tattoos on their foreheads when this is over. They really are some of the meanest, most bitter contestants I've ever seen.

And it's Peach who's eliminated. No one could get over those disgusting, oddly colored ruffles. Peach knew it was coming and I think she deserved it.

Next week: Create a resort look. Whatever that is. Michael C. still doesn't seem to get any love, while Valerie has a breakdown. Tune in next week!

Are you a fan of Michael C.? What do you think of all the hating?

 

Image via MyLifetime.com

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