Photo by Splash News
I'll be the first to admit I found this recent photo of the Material Girl out clubbing in London shocking. Madonna has spent the last decade refining her once-trashy image. Why would she return to her Like a Virgin days after spending so much time attempting to prove that underneath that long blonde fauxnytail and cone bra was an aristocratic millionairess with a fake British accent?
More importantly, if a 50-something M-Do could resurrect her favorite '80s fashions and get away with it, what on earth was stopping me?
I was determined to find out.
I decided to raid my wardrobe for anything that recalled my era of insecurity -- THE EIGHTIES.
One off-the-shoulder top, a hip-hugging belt, a pair of shiny spandex leggings, a side ponytail, and a Cindy Crawford-inspired beauty mark later, I was ready to show off my new Madonna-inspired look. I walked downstairs, ready to take my daughter to a birthday party.
My family was not impressed.
Thank You, Madonna!
"What the hell is that on your face?" my husband demanded as I sat down in the den. The children clamored around me, looking at my Cindy mole with interest.
"It's a beauty mark," I told him. "Deal with it."
"Let me see your outfit again," he said. "Stand up." I stood and twirled for him. "Are you really going to the playground like that?" he asked.
"Of course," I told him. "What's the problem?"
"Men are going to talk to you," he said darkly. He seemed very disturbed.
"Look," I said. "I'm returning to my fashion roots. The eighties was where it all began for me. And I'm not alone! Madonna did it just last week. That means that a year from now, everyone will be dressed like this. And you'll be so proud, because your wife was doing it all along!"
Hubs scowled. My experiment wasn't going so well, and it was then that I realized Madonna didn't attempt her "retro-fitting" until after she and Guy Ritchie had split.
Now I knew why.
I wore my Madonna-inspired outfit for a few more minutes, just to make Hubs nervous, but I ended up changing before going to the birthday party.
The look was Borderline, anyway.