The Problem with Oprah's Bra

Flickr: Photo by stephendepolo

As a lady with a lot on top, I've always been on the hunt for the perfect bra. A few years ago, I was watching Oprah and since I love that lady, I totally threw away my 36Ds and ran to the store endorsed on the segment to be fitted for the proper bra. Because Oprah told us all, "You're wearing the wrong size bra!"


I'd forgotten about that very expensive, and very disappointing experience until not too long ago when the segment re-aired. Or rather, it was recycled. Whatever, you know she's got one foot out the door anyway.

Here's why I'm calling BS on the great bra myth of North America, perpetuated by Ms. Winfrey.

After sniffing that she would do what she could because I didn't have an appointment, the sales lady at the recommended bra store became my girls' best friend as she flung about ten bras at me in the span of fifteen minutes. They were beautiful, they were well-made and they were totally the wrong size. Which was the whole reason I was there in the first place! I'd been wearing the wrong size for my entire adult boob life! That's what Oprah told me, anyway and I wanted to wear the right size!!!

Intimidated by a woman who could wrap a strap around me every which way while asking me to bend over, I walked out of the store with three bras -- not one less than $60 -- size 32EE.

Not one of them ever fit me properly.

When the dazzle of having been fit for a bra by a professional, recommended by Oprah, finally lost it's power I returned to the store and let the lady know that I have not been a 32 since I was in the eighth grade. She handed me some bra extenders and sent me on my way. The idea was, the bra would stretch out and eventually I wouldn't need the extenders.

A) If a bra is stretching out four inches, it shouldn't cost $75. B) I never could wear any of those bras without the extenders. C) As someone who enjoys minimizing the twins, I don't need bras that put 'em up and out there. I need bras that will fit into a dress.

Maybe all those women in the audience being bra-fitted went home happy and their boobs looked amazing for ever after. I, however, had red welts over my shoulders and across my back for months and would weep in relief at the end of the day when I could pull off all my clothes.

Have any of you been re-fitted for a bra and it changed sizes dramatically? Did you look better?


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