There's nothing quite as heartbreaking as the sudden, unexplained death of an infant. When I heard about the 4-month-old baby who was found dead this week after being put down for a nap at a daycare center in Levittown, Long Island, I literally felt physically ill. I can't even begin to wrap my head around the anguish those parents are experiencing.

But there's another reason why this death was tragic. Already the question is being raised: Is a 4-month-old baby too young to be in daycare in the first place?

Not only is this unfair to the parents of this baby and Karen Shriver, the owner of the daycare center (autopsy results aren't in yet, so we don't know why this baby died or if Shriver is at fault), it's unfair to the millions of parents who have no choice but to put their infants in daycare and the millions of loving professionals who care for those babies.

Six years ago when my first child was born, we had an audio monitor. If I remember correctly, it would light up with an increasing number of bars depending on the volume of his cry. A five-bar night was a VERY BAD NIGHT INDEED.

By the second baby, I'd graduated to a video monitor, one that came with a grainy black & white camera for each kid. This is the one we still have today, although we're down to one camera aimed at the 3yo, more out of curiosity than anything else. (I like listening to him talk to himself at bedtime.)

Now I see there's a whole new breed of baby monitor out there, and if you ask me, this one's custom-designed to freak any new mom RIGHT THE HELL OUT.

At 16 years old, Nga Truong admitted to smothering her 13-month-old baby, Khyle, with a teddy bear. That was in November of 2008. Truong's life wasn't without tragedy. Back in 2000, when she was 8 years old, her 3-month-old baby brother died while she was in charge of his care.

This month, after three years in custody with no bail, I'm so insanely glad to hear that she's being released as a free woman, all charges of murder dropped. Because really, this could have been anyone.

Handsome AidenJestine Malloy is a mom, an inspiration, and a crusader. I am in awe of her spirit and desire to help people, though I wish she wasn't so knowledgeable about dealing with the loss of a child from sudden infant death syndrome. Jestine's son Aiden passed away from SIDS and she wants to share what she knows and how she survived it, not just for moms worried about SIDS, but for moms who are learning to cope.

This is her story, in her own words.

Learning to Cope: There is life after SIDS.

“I will love you forever, this, I promise.”

The hardest job in the world is undoubtedly being a mother. The job that no one ever wants to have is being a mother who is bereaved.

When my Aiden died on June 15, 2004, I felt like I was in a whirlwind of chaos and misunderstanding. From the moment I found him that morning, cold, lifeless, and grey, until almost six years later, I struggled.

When is the last time you heard about a baby dying from SIDS? In some places it's been years since an actual sudden infant death syndrome diagnosis has been given. Now, these four letters that strike fear into every new mother may actually be obsolete, as some medical examiners say there is always an explanation in these cases. Most of the time, the baby's death is due to suffocation during unsafe sleep practices. Now, those we've seen a lot of here on The Stir.

The SIDS label is attached to any death of a child under 1 year of age that was unexplained even after an autopsy. As more research into the syndrome was done, many preventative measures were recommended, not the least of which was the "back to sleep" campaign that has saved many, many lives. Notably, by helping babies breathe and not suffocate when lying face-down in a crib.

But to parents who lose a baby this way, SIDS is a lot more palatable than hearing your baby died from suffocation.

I am paranoid about my children’s safety -- almost to the point of irrationality. In fact, I’m so afraid of SIDS that I kept my older daughter next to me in a sidecar co-sleeper well past the age of 12 months, and my younger daughter has moved from said co-sleeper into our bed.

What a cruel irony, then, that a nurse in Florida says that upon re-examining some infant deaths in her area, co-sleeping is the culprit and she discourages co-sleeping in her area.

But when I looked deeper, I made the decision to keep co-sleeping.

Did you know we're not supposed to use crib bumpers for a newborn? And then we're not supposed to use them when baby is old enough to stand holding the edge of the crib, either. In fact, we're not supposed to use them at all, and frankly I find the kid-décor industry’s response to this whole mess to be so callous and deplorable, it makes me want no money ever spent on a crib bumper until the end of time.

And yet: I have crib bumpers. What the heck is wrong with me?

When caring for a brand-new baby, we’re so careful about checking every little thing we give them -- but sometimes, when someone mentions a traditional remedy, we can be tempted to try it. Hey, if it (allegedly) worked for the last thousand years, it can’t be all bad, right? Tylenol, bad ... chamomile, good!
 
A recent look at some traditional, all-natural supplements says what smart moms already know -- that we should look at anything we put in our kids with the same skeptical eye. Because as my mom used to say, “Poison ivy is natural, too.”
 
Is your favorite natural remedy as safe as you think?