Just when we thought the lives of pregnant celebrities couldn't get any more cush -- a new trend has emerged as far as getting ready to welcome a new baby goes. Have you ever heard of something called a "maternity concierge"? Yeah -- I hadn't either until today. Apparently a maternity concierge is someone who caters to a celebrity mom's every whim when she is preparing to welcome a new baby. (Wait a minute -- isn't that supposed to be the husband's job?)

From getting the fancy birthing suite all set up to making a pre-delivery appointment for a bikini wax (yikes!), these concierges pretty much do it all. They almost sound like wedding or party planners or something like that. Having a baby qualifies as a party, right? And considering just how much preparation is involved with getting ready to welcome a new baby, these concierges really do sound like a dream come true.

What happens when we become a mom? We have an amazing little being and it's fantastical and scary and full of freak-out moments all relating to the child. But what about us? What about our bodies? Our minds? Our vagina?! We need to learn new things and yet we push our own personal stuff aside because we have a baby to take care of. Which on one hand is what we should do ... but is it really? A happy mom is a good mom. Maybe if we paid a little more attention to ourselves as well -- lady bits and all -- then we would in fact be better moms, better people, better better BETTER!

Before you had kids, what did the word 'mom' mean to you? To some, a mom is a mom is a mom. "Just a mom." A woman who takes care of her kids and that's it. Sure that's a massively wondrous part, but we are MORE than that. French women know what I'm talking about because their health care for postpartum includes a vagina camp to get your who-ha back in shape along with the rest of your body. 

Ask any new mother how she's handling life with a newborn, and she'll likely admit to being sleep-deprived, overwhelmed, a little out of it. But many new Moms, although not always likely to admit it, often feel depressed, out-of-control, and guilty that they're not more in love with their brand-new bundle of joy. For many, it's postpartum depression. For others though, it's a little more low-grade, more post-baby blues than full-blown depression. You worry that life is always going to be this exhausting and confusing, and wonder if maybe you weren't cut out to be a mother.

That was me about four months ago, and I'm confessing to it now because once I talked about it more, I realized that I wasn't alone in my feelings. Now, I love everything about being a Mommy, and I couldn't be more in love with my beautiful, happy, healthy baby boys. But back then, a part of me wondered, "Oh no, what have I done?"

It's funny, there's so much about early parenthood that I've lost to the murk of my own faulty memory, but I can still remember the predominant thought in my mind both times I held a positive pregnancy test in my hand. It wasn't Hooray! Nor was it I'm the luckiest girl in the world! or I can't wait to embark on this miraculous journey of motherhood! Both times it was this: Oh dear god, what have I done??Don't get me wrong, both pregnancies were very much wanted and hoped for (the second one, in fact, was pursued with a somewhat unromantic sense of purpose, as anyone who's ever involved fertility monitoring is all too familiar with: "RIGHT NOW WE NEED TO BE HAVING THE SEX. THE TIME FOR HAVING SEX IS NOW"). But I can't lie, amidst the heady swirl of emotions that accompanied those test results was the undeniable fear that I had made a really, really big mistake.

I have a friend who just had a baby. Like 99 percent of the population, she left the hospital looking like a semi-deflated version of the pregnant woman who checked in a couple days before. She had the signature pouch, the bloated feet, and the glazed look on her face. Like the rest of us. A few days later, at the baby's well-visit, an elderly woman began cooing over the infant. "She's gorgeous," the woman announced. "And, you're pregnant again, already?!"

How my friend didn't attack this stupid woman, I'll never understand. But, for her and all the other clueless people out there, here are 10 other things not to say to a new mother ...

I know there are some moms who really, really enjoy the newborn stage. In fact, the desire for more babies seems to be a primary reason why some people choose to have their second, third, or fifteenth child.As for me, I found the newborn stage to be incredibly hard, and I wasn't even remotely looking forward to it with my second son. I mean, I was looking forward to meeting him, but truthfully if there would have been a way to gestate him until he was, say, 2 years old (because 1-year-olds are no picnic either), I might have done it. The fact that I had such a hard time with my own young babies makes me wildly sympathetic to other new moms. I cannot think of a more difficult life stage than being postpartum and caring for a new baby. Yes, it's beautiful and miraculous and indescribably joyful—but it is also insanely challenging and sometimes just downright awful.

So I just read an article in Fitness magazine that purports to tell us moms (or at least those aspirational -- or downright masochistic -- moms who torture themselves by looking at the hard-bodied specimens in Fitness magazine) the truth about their bodies after they have a baby.

The article warns that it might take a while to lose the baby weight around your middle (nine months on, nine months off, and all that -- though it's been more than six years since I had my second child, and I'm not seeing much improvement; could they have meant nine months on, nine years off?). It notes that you might, you know, shed some hair a few months after you give birth, losing those lustrous pregnant-lady locks, and suggests "eating foods high in protein, iron, zinc, flavenoids, antioxidants, and silica," some of which I swear I've never heard of, though I'll be sure to look for "Silica Snax" at the grocery store next time I shop.

Good news for those of us who already know that men are as dramatically changed by bringing home a newborn as moms. Bad news for men who think their testosterone levels define them. Science says after a new baby comes home, men's testosterone levels drop. And the more men get involved with their children, the lower those man hormone levels go.

I say good news, because it's physiological proof that men also have to adapt to babies and have done so throughout time. Their bodies change, not unlike women's, when faced with caring for a newborn. Irrefutable proof that a man's job isn't over the minute he pulls up his pants. And those really great dads who continue to interact with their kids and stay involved? Well, they keep changing.