There are some things I know I can count on in life. Spring brings the swallows to Capistrano. October brings the heady joy of dramatic television events during fall sweeps week. Weekend with the step-kids means a new crop of fart jokes. And any discussion of nursing in public heralds the arrival of commenters who say, “You’re just looking for an excuse to flash your boobs in public.”

It’s time to take down this myth once and for all.

Do I want to wrestle my post-baby body into a swimsuit this summer? Not particularly. And that's one of the joys of living in a city whose "dog days" come in on foggy little cat feet: We can just bundle up and go hiking as easily as we can go to the pool. But this year, my daughter Penny is old enough to have preferences, and she'd like to swim. So I've got to woman up and find something ready for prime time.

The added wrinkle (besides all the ones on my forehead, plus the gray hairs, plus what has happened to my tush) is, of course, that Abby's still breastfeeding, so I have to not only look good, I need easy access to the smoothie bar.

Enter nursing-friendly swimsuits. Yes, there are plenty, and some of them will even feel like ... well, let's not go overboard (unless that's part of the swimming). They'll get the job done so you can join the rest of the family poolside.

Mariah CareyNew twinner mama Mariah Carey finally stepped out to "debut" (whether she wanted to or not) her post-babies body to the celeb-crazed world just two months after the birth of her twins, Moroccan and Monroe, who were born on April 30. Doesn't she look great? And let's be honest -- did we really think she wouldn't?

She's doing everything right with this casual look. Wearing big shades to cover her sleep-deprived eyes and a form-fitting black sweat suit. After all, it's a mistake to wear big baggy clothes postpartum. It only makes you look bigger than you already feel.

After seeing all the shots of Mariah, all I can say is thank god I'm not a celebrity -- "debuting" your postpartum figure for the first time isn't easy for us "invisible" moms. Can you imagine if you were a celebrity, albeit one who's known for her sexy bod?

I recently heard a crazy story on my local radio station told by a dad about how the brakes failed on his stroller and it went careening down a steep San Francisco hill with his daughter in it.
 
My first reaction: “You schmuck!” My second reaction: “Let’s face it. Every one of us has had some not-so-great parenting moments, and if we admit it, we can have empathy for other parents in tight spots (and help out when we can!).

Comedian Louis CK tells a very funny, very NSFW story about suddenly realizing his baby's stroller is next to the tailpipe of the car, and musing that he would not be able to tell his wife if he lost their baby that way.

Okay, might be unforgivable ... but here are some of my worst mom moments. I'll let you be the judge.

Here are some from me and mine. Have you got us beat?

So that's where they all wind up. Raise your hand if you use your stroller as a storage system while shopping. I know when I lived in a walking city, my stroller was practically a station wagon where I stashed groceries, Old Navy sale items and oh, right, the baby. But just like you wouldn't leave the trunk of your car wide open while you were shopping elsewhere, you probably shouldn't leave your stroller exposed for thieves to take advantage of the goodies inside. (Again, there's a BABY in there, people!)

After a rash of crimes committed by "stroller bandits" in Los Angeles, the police released this video of two women in action. Watch as they surround, distract, and ultimately rob this family blind.

I remember Kiddo's first playdate. She was maybe a month old, and my friend came over with her 3-month-old. We chatted, discussed sleeping schedules, breastfeeding hints and tips, gear that we loved. Yup, we had a great time ... as both Kiddo and her new buddy slept. The gathering was much more about the two moms, about us getting some much-needed adult face time, some great mommy-to-mommy hang time.

So, was this really Kiddo's playdate ... or mine? And can we even call it a playdate, because, well, really, no one exactly played.

Moms get berated for breastfeeding in public all the time, it seems. But what about when baby is fed from a bottle? What about Jill Harper, bottle-feeding mom, who was asked to leave Wyoming coffee house Percolation for giving her baby formula?

While having lunch with friends, Harper's 5-month-old daughter, Katherine, started to fuss, so her mother made her a bottle and began to feed her. Then, the unthinkable happened, which Harper describes:

A woman walked up to our table (who I later learned was the owner) and said, "Please stop or go somewhere else with that. It's just gross." I stared at her, not understanding.

Who hit the beach this pat weekend? Loaded up the minivan, chucked Baby in her uber-cute swimsuit in the car seat and had a fun family day in the sand? Isn't summer with Baby so fun? I loved summertime when Kiddo was a baby: hanging out in the park, getting outside, picnic playdates. Gone were the cold days of runny noses and stomach flus. Here were the days of sun ... and dehydration?

We all know what it feels like to be dehydrated, maybe you get a little light-headed, a bit woozy. And it's serious when a baby does get dehydrated because her little body -- with less fluids and higher metabolism rate -- can't take as much as we can.  Add to this the fact that our babies can't say, "Hey, Mom, I'm not feeling so good. Can you pass the bottle?"

So, how do you know when your baby is dehydrated?