POSTS WITH TAG: mom secrets

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    While writing recent pieces about how you know if you're the mom of a boy or the mom of a girl, I realized there are so many indicators that separate us moms (in general) from everyone else on Earth. So here it is: You know you're a mom if ...

    1.  You haven't heard your actual name the entire day, but you've been beckoned relentlessly.

    2.  You've ever sang The Wheels on The Bus with the same enthusiasm you once sang I Will Survive.

    3.  Lying is always an option as in ... "I'm sorry, the game store is closed on Sunday." "I love the outfit you put together yourself." "Yes, you do sound like Beyonce when you sing." and "No, they don't give ketchup at the drive-thru."

    4.  You have a stain on your clothing that you would have to taste to place.  What is that latte or spit up? One sec… Hmmm... Oh, it's spit up.

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    It seems not a week goes by that I'm not hearing about how lonely and isolated moms feel. How hard it is to make friends. How they miss their old friends. How baby-raising has taken over their lives and they feel cut off from the rest of humanity. Gals, it doesn't have to be like this. Sure, you're probably not going to be able to go out and do all-night ragers at the local tequila bar anymore. But there's no reason you shouldn't be able to eek out a few hours a month doing something other than babbling at your baby. If you feel like the world has abandoned you, well, let me tell you, the world often feels like you've abandoned it. So let the world and you come together again. It might start off slowly if your baby is young, but better to start now than to wake up in a few years and be unable to call up any friends -- because you don't have any anymore.

    Here are 6 tips for moms who want to get at least a little of their lives back.

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    We've had quite a few Kardashian paternity rumors in the past, but this one I'm going to tell you about? It blows the others out of the water. Let's just say it's not a good day to be Scott Disick.

    InTouch Weekly is reporting that Kourtney Kardashian might be keeping a huge secret from the rest of the world -- and Scott may not be Mason Disick's real father. Now this is just hearsay for the time being, but before you roll your eyes, get THIS: the guy who claims he slept with Kourtney nine months before Mason's birth is so sure he's the little boy's dad that he's willing to take a DNA test.

    Yeah. Shit just got real.

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    All new moms want to do everything "right." They all want to be the perfect mothers to their little bundles of joy. But none of us succeed. We all make mistakes.

    I am no exception. I think things have gone fairly smoothly in the first 16 months of my daughter's life, but believe me, I've had my share of new mom blunders -- some classic, some all my own.

    Lucky for you, I'm about to confess to many of them, right here and now. If I had to do things over, I could have avoided at least some of these. But then I would have made others. So best to just learn from them and move on. Here are 8 new mom mistakes I'm a little ashamed to admit I've made.

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    You don't have to know the slightest thing about me to guess that I'm not a celebrity. (Wait, you HAVEN'T heard of Catherine Donaldson-Evans?? THE Catherine Donaldson-Evans?) I haven't even had my 15 minutes. I'M NOT BITTER, I SWEAR.

    But having a baby changed all that. Suddenly, when I go out, heads turn as we walk down the street. People buzz around me like flies. Smiles from strangers are as plentiful as pennies. And there's just a lovely, happy aura all around. It's almost ... magical.

    It has nothing to do with me, of course. It's all about my 1-year-old daughter. Here are 7 ways going out with my baby is like being with a celebrity:

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  • Rant

    5 Things Never to Say to Lesbian Moms

    posted by Jeanne Sager February 7 at 10:46 AM in Baby
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    It never ceases to amaze me that when people encounter moms, their sense of tact goes right out the window. I've been asked the strangest and most insensitive questions in the years since I got pregnant -- most of them having to do with my decision to have an only child. But the questions I get have nothing on those that my lesbian mom friends encounter on an all-too-frequent basis.

    In fact, when I asked a few lesbian mom friends what it's like out there for them, the answers were astounding. People are just plain RUDE!

    Not sure if you've accidentally offended a lesbian mom? Check out the list of things you really should NOT be saying to these ladies:

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    Having a baby is truly a wonderful thing. You and your spouse are creating the most precious thing you'll ever put your hands on. And while no two babies are exactly alike (not even twins), for the most part, moms have a natural instinct for taking care of the little rug rats. Dads, on the other hand, are a bit more clueless.

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    When I first got pregnant, I didn't plan to have an only child. But after a miserable pregnancy complete with hyperemisis gravidarum (the sort of morning sickness that hospitalized Kate Middleton), the reasons to stop at one started mounting. Some are serious, some not. All are very personal.

    And I have a message for all my fellow one and done parents out there. People can tell you that you're selfish, but until they know your story, they have no room to judge. In fact, I asked some other parents who have decided one child is it for them to 'fess up to the whys and wherefores. Their stories, the real stories of why people have only children, are anything but selfish: 

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    At a party last weekend, I got stuck with "That Mom." You know, the mom you dread seeing at school functions, birthday parties, playdates, or park outings. So I decided to make a list of the most common types of "That Mom" I've come across. This way you can avoid her before she traps you!

    Know it all Nicole - This mom is like Kris Jenner, but she won't take your family to Hawaii. She will, however, advise you how to be a better mom and wife, because frankly, who doesn't like unsolicited advice on parenting and marriage? She'll tell you whether you should or shouldn't vaccinate, how to get whites their whitest, and why you can never go to a drive-thru. If you want her to impart her wisdom elsewhere, bring up a blush-worthy topic like blow jobs. If she doesn't run for the hills, hear her out -- you can never know too much about blow jobs -- then bring up vibrators.

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    Can you: name most of the characters on The Cosby Show? Sing the theme song to The Facts of Life? Remember what you had for breakfast?

    I stumped you on the last one, right? I know, that's because you, like me, have Momnesia. Momnesia is the reason I call my cellphone because I’ve lost it ... and then answer it, because I've already forgotten I'm the one calling! (Sound familiar?)

    On this week's episode of The Jenny Isenman Show, I sit down with Sharon Rowley, organizational blogger and mom of SIX, to talk about the embarrassing gaffes we’ve made, and the memory tricks we rely on to get through a day.

    Watch after the jump to find out:

    That you’re NOT alone! The trick to long-term memory. How to be your own announcer. Why my hot, shirtless barista should load your dishwasher. Read More
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Have you ever kept a secret from your spouse?