Good grief. Is there anything more annoying than trying to enjoy a nice meal all while listening to a crying baby sitting at the next table? Ugh. That's got to be the absolute worst. And that's why when my husband and I decide to go out for a nice, relaxing dinner, we typically choose a place that is a little more upscale and doesn't offer a children's menu.

But by the same token, we have also enjoyed taking our son out to eat with us ever since he was a tiny baby. And while we did usually take him places that were a bit nicer than a fast-food joint when he was an infant, we did tend to gravitate toward restaurants that were a bit more kid-friendly, just in case he did start to fuss and cry. (Babies do that, you know.)

Any restaurant with the word "Pizza" in the title seems like a pretty baby-friendly joint, right? WRONG. Believe it or not, a place in Georgia called "Grant Central Pizza" has actually banned crying babies from eating at their tables. Yes, I said banned.

Which is worse: periodically experiencing painful, debilitating migraines—or parenting a baby who cries excessively for seemingly no reason whatsoever? How's this for unfair: it seems that one condition may be directly linked to the other. In a recent study that was apparently custom-designed to depress the hell out of thousands of migraine sufferers, researchers found that mothers with a headache history are more than twice as likely to have babies with colic.

The only good news? It's possible this new revelation may actually offer some ideas for treating a colicky baby.

Having a baby is scary, I know. I've had three, and each time I leave the hospital, I'm altogether certain the hospital is going to call me and say, "Whoops! You shouldn't be in charge of a baby! We're coming to get it now."

It's like the college graduation dream (the one where you're one credit short or the university calls you to tell you they're revoking your diploma), but a whole lot scarier.

And with me, It's happened with each baby. Somehow, though, I've managed to raise those babies into wonderful people. My secret?

It's simple.

For the past hour I've been working in a coffee shop. Perhaps it's because I'm on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, but one of my companions has been a screaming baby. Yes, her mother is here too, but seems basically unaffected by the ear-piercing freak-outs that are constantly flowing from that tiny girl. I first noticed mom and baby as they were in line waiting to order. I thought to myself, "Oh my god, I bet she just wants her coffee so she can get that baby home." But no. She ordered her drink then proceeded to sit down with her screaming baby in the stroller next to her.

Now, I'm a mom to two kids who are not always on their best behavior, so I really hate to judge. However. This is one of those times that mom is 100 percent wrong to sit in a public space, drinking her coffee and writing cards (what the?) while her baby sits in the stroller and screams. It's time to go home, baby. IT'S TIME TO GO HOME.

I don't think I've ever laughed so hard at a video of a baby crying in my life. Possibly I've never laughed at a video of a baby crying, since I don't generally find sobbing infants all that amusing, but this baby ... well, she has some very unique taste in lullabies, let's put it that way!

Only one song by one rapper does the trick when this tiny girl gets the blues ... apparently her parents did try other types of music to soothe the savage baby, but nothing had quite the same effect.

I guess that makes sense. I mean, the name of the song is "Hypnotize," after all ...

When he was a baby, my son Riley was the most impatient creature on the face of this earth. Oh, your child is impatient? No. Your child is a burbling spa-like environment of Buddhist chants, aromatherapy, and Xanax-flavored ice cream cones compared to how my child behaved. I'm sorry, I win this horrible game.

I remember fervently praying that it was a stage rather than some sort of indication of his long-term temperament, because otherwise he would surely be in for an incredibly frustrating existence as he learned that not only do parents take more than .0001 seconds to pour the milk, but traffic lights sometimes stay red for entire MINUTES ON END! Water does not boil INSTANTLY! The DMV will suck YEARS FROM YOUR LIFE!

So, about 12 weeks ago, I gave birth to two handsome little babies that we've nicknamed Herman and Berman. Yes, I'm in love with them and find myself constantly open-mouth gumming their chubby cheeks with such enthusiasm, I'm concerned I might one day try to eat their faces off ... really. Okay, no, not really.

Sure, it's one big lovefest now, but I've gotta be honest: about six weeks ago, my husband and I were losing our freakin' minds. Up until then, they had been such sweet, easy little bundles, and we were sure it would just get easier from there. But before the "it gets better" part, they decided to take a detour and steer us toward a crazy-making place where no one ever sleeps and the cries just keep on coming ...

I think we've all been there -- you're on a plane or at church or in a restaurant, somewhere public, and your baby starts crying. You try to comfort her, but nothing works. Nothing! No one wants the crying to stop more than you do. Not only are you attracting a whole room's worth of ire (embarrassing!), you're also feeling horrible for your unhappy baby.

My best defense in that situation was always to start nursing, but breastfeeding in public can get you in trouble with certain types. Still, when I heard about this Oregon bus driver who kicked a mother and her crying baby off a bus this week complaining that she couldn't "drive with all that noise," I was outraged.