There's so much to learn when you're a new mom -- how to work the car seat, use the breast pump, function on no sleep. You'll also soon realize that motherhood has its own vocabulary. There are all kinds of new words and phrases that you'll learn and start to use on a daily basis, such as swaddle, rear-facing, and "I'm so tired." And some that you won't -- like elimination communication and "I really feel like having sex."

Don't worry, you'll know them all soon enough.

You'll also learn that other moms will try to size you up and label you by the things you do (bottle-feed ... gasp!) and don't do (make your own baby food ... what is wrong with you?!). Before you became a mom, you probably didin't realize that there's pretty much a name for everything a mom does with her baby and how she decides to raise him.

I'm here to tell you that these words and phrases are a load of crap.* Here are but 10 (and believe me there are many more) we should all agree to get rid of right now.

When I was pregnant, I used to watch the babywearing moms with awe. These ladies knew how to actually get things done and be good parents all at the same time!

The only problem? I went to get a baby carrier, and I was totally lost. Did I want to do a kangaroo carry or a Buddha carry (hint: they're the same thing)? Is my baby going to be lost if I don't have a ring sling? And what the heck is a mei tai?

You've heard about Feminist Ryan Gosling, of course. Along with Street Fight-Stopping Ryan Gosling, Woman's Life-Saving Ryan Gosling, and, as always, Painfully Hot Ryan Gosling. But did you know there's also an Attachment Parenting Ryan Gosling? To many moms, this version might just be the dreamiest of all the Ryan Goslings.

As the blog's creator puts it, "Friends and family may judge you for your co-sleeping, baby-wearing, extended breastfeeding ways, but Ryan Gosling gets it." From supporting your choice to nurse in public to knowing the difference between a hemp and microfiber insert, this Ryan Gosling knows that $200 isn't too much for a sling. He whittles blocks for the baby because he prefers natural toys. And hey girl, he totally wants to hear about those baby food recipes you pinned.

Check out Attachment Parenting Ryan Gosling in all his glory:

Do you ever get depressed when you're toy shopping for the kids? Between the way genders are so split and the inanity of some of the toys on the shelves out there, sometimes buying for a birthday party makes you feel like you're having your soul sucked out.

So how about something new, something different and really pretty positive? I'm talking about babywearing dolls. Breastfeeding dolls! The kind of toys that an attachment parent would be proud to purchase!

No, you won't find them on the shelves of your big box store. You might not even find them at your local toy store (where we used to go to find stuff from toy designers who decided to go a little out of the box with their designs but lately ... sigh). But we have got them right here!

Do you put your baby in a stroller? Does your baby have his/her own room? Does your baby consume formula in addition to or instead of breast milk? Do you ever stop touching your baby? If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, well, I don't mean to alarm you, but ... U R DOIN IT WRONG.

That's according to research presented recently at a symposium at the University of Notre Dame, anyway. Darcia Narvaez, Notre Dame professor of psychology, says that "ill-advised" modern parenting techniques may be affecting babies in a variety of alarming ways, creating -- are you ready for this?? -- an epidemic of anxiety and depression, aggression, delinquency, and decreasing moral behavior.

Way to destroy America, you heartless stroller-wielding moms.

Can we talk about "toddler-wearing"? You know, the practice of eschewing the stroller and just carrying that damn kid -- who can walk now -- around with you everywhere in a sling? I just came across this sweet post extolling the virtues of toddler-wearing. "Toddler-wearing is great. Preschooler-wearing can be pretty special, too." OMG, woman! My back aches just reading this nonsense!

And I'll tell you why: I did toddler-wearing, too.

Nicole Richie with kids Harlow & SparrowThere is so much we don't know about the lives of celebrity moms and dads. I mean, we like to think they're probably just like us -- making silly faces, snuggling their kids, shopping at Costco, and taking their kids to get their first haircuts. Well, now that there's Instagram and so many celebs have joined the fun app, we can know all this for sure. We can sneak a peek at their real lives with our very own eyes. And guess what? They ARE just like us! Well, except when they're making breakfast wearing a baby and a punk rock sock monkey hat.

Yes, that's right. Can you guess which fun celebrity mom is captured on Instagram doing just that? Read on to find out and to see the 12 celebrity moms and dads you should be following on Instagram.

The number of families opting for dad to stay home with the kids while mom brings home the bacon has more than doubled in the last decade. In 2001, dads made up a scant 1.6% of the at-home parent crowd, but by 2011, they made up 3.4% of the demographic. Still a small portion, but it’s a significant increase within the time frame.

It might be tempting to blame the recent recession for the uptick in stay at home dads, but researchers postulate that shifting gender roles and widespread acceptance of women in the workplace as the more likely culprits for this trend. Most couples that live this lifestyle do so by choice, citing economic or pragmatic reasons.