POSTS WITH TAG: baby development

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    Mom, I’m going to start by saying your choice of breakfast, lunch, and dinner is driving me to do things I’d rather not: like wonder whether I’ve been adopted before I’ve even been born. Really, what was that excuse for food you sent down my tube thing the other day? Because it tasted like hummus mixed with eggs and raisins -- but that can’t be, right? I don’t know much about life on your planet yet, but surely that isn’t food meant for human consumption?

    And then there is this habit you have of only walking around during certain times of the day. What am I supposed to do when the sun goes down? It gets boring in here! I may as well lay it all on the line for you while I’m still here in your cocoon. I have a few more gripes and it’s about time someone (cough, cough) starts paying attention to them.

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    We care about how safe our babies' strollers are. But have you ever considered how a stroller can affect your baby's brain? You may be surprised at how much it matters. Neuro-psychologist Sally Goddard Blythe recently spoke about this at a What About the Children conference. She's concerned that babies are spending more and more time in strollers, car seats, and other equipment. Too much time in a front-facing stroller can limit your baby's speech and physical development.

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    Do you try to avoid spending money on tons of extra things your kids don't really need? Don't call yourself frugal, call yourself on-trend: you're part of the minimalist parenting way of being. Sure, saving cash by not filling every room in your house with the latest battery-powered Fisher-Price Blat-N-Learn may sound like a fairly basic concept, but you guys, it's totally cutting edge. It's a Pinterest-friendly lifestyle movement. (And if you're a thrifty dad, you can officially call yourself a manimalist.)

    I feel like every week I hear about some brand-new method of raising kids, but when I actually learn what the term means, it's not particularly groundbreaking at all. What's with our annoying tendency to lump diverse parenting choices into one specific buzzword, I wonder? (Aside from the fact that it drives advice book sales, of course.)

    If you're not sure what I mean, here are 5 more examples of "parenting trends" that sound WAY more complicated than they really are.

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    We talk a lot about all the many, many ways parents can screw up their kids. But today I thought we could use a break from all the guilt. Let's talk about all the ways your kids could be screwed up through no fault of your own! Yes, really. Thanks to the important work of scientists, we now have proof that sometimes babies are just born that way -- born with certain characteristics or tendencies that make their lives (and yours, by extension) so much more difficult.

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    Last week AOL's CEO Tim Armstrong angered many when he blamed distressed babies as the reason employees weren't going to get certain benefits. He called out two babies, without using names. Babies born to his employees apparently cost the company millions and so now everyone else has to financially suffer because of these two kids. Maybe he sees babies as second class citizens who do not deserve life-saving procedures. Perhaps all those erectile dysfunction prescriptions were totally fine with him as they chipped away at the bottom line. But babies? Nope. Scapegoat them. Make all the employees angry they aren't getting the 401(k) they expected eyeball the people who had a baby this past year and see who to direct their anger at.

    The mother of one of the babies Armstrong blames spoke out. At first I was concerned Deanna Fei outed herself, but I understand why. She countered Armstrong's coldness with warmth. She put a face, a life, to the million dollars.

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    One of the new buzz terms heard more when it comes to birth is "gentle c-section." Which is fantastic because with c-sections on the rise, we should all want women to have the most gentle one possible. Of course it would be better if cesareans were on the decline. With this gentle c-section, moms do skin-to-skin contact with baby right after birth. Seems like a no-brainer. Why wouldn't mama put baby to chest right after giving birth? Particularly after a c-section. But doctors seem to have forgotten the human element in birth and rely too heavily on the technology.

    Skin-to-skin doesn't happen as much as it should. In fact, for the first time in America, a gentle cesarean was performed in May of 2013 where a healthy triplet birth resulted in mom placing her babies on her chest right after birth -- skin-to-skin. First time? What took so long?

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    If you haven't caught one of the viral videos by the "Kid President," you don't know what you are missing. It's this adorable little kid who creates these great little clips about everything from being cute to how to change the world. His latest, however, has to be the best. "Kid President's Letter to a Person on Their First Day Here" sums up every single thing we parents desperately want to teach our children when they come into this world.

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    Did you know that babies can fake cry? I don't know about you, but this is news to me. A recent small study demonstrated that babies can fake cry -- just for the attention. This sounds like an extremely precocious form of naughtiness, but the researchers promise that when babies fake cry, they are not just trying to manipulate their parents. Well, they kind of are. But in a good way! Let me explain.

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    Forget attachment parenting, helicopter parenting, natural parenting, and everything in between -- because the celeb-types have a brand new style of raising kids that's apparently all the rage.

    It's called "RIE Parenting," which is an acronym for Resources for Infant Educarers. It's pronounced "wry," and the basic gyst of it is treating babies like individuals ... not like tiny little bundles of joy. Why on earth should kids be treated like kids? (That just isn't right.)

    Some of RIE's famous fans include Helen Hunt, Tobey Maguire, Penelope Cruz, and Felicity Huffman and William H. Macy, to name a few.

    And apparently this style of parenting is oh so appealing to A-listers because duh -- they're raising their babies without "disrespecting" them.

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    Congratulations on your child's high-school graduation, dear most people I grew up with. Hang on a second... What's that? Wow! My child just handed me a chunk of her own poop.Because I waited until age 46 to reproduce, I could be my own two-year-old daughter's grandfather. I don't look my age, which is great. (It wasn't great while trying to avoid the inside of middle-school dumpsters because I looked like a fetus with hair. But it works now.)Still, the sad fact is that I may not live to see my daughter graduate high school, much less ever meet my own grandchild. ("You never know," my wife jokes. "You could get lucky; she could become a teen mom.") But even if I do live that long, I will probably be eating dinner at 4:30 p.m., sending out mass blank emails and handing my daughter chunks of my poop. 

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