If you think you've heard daycare nightmares before, wait until you hear this one. An 8-month-old baby girl was found with a mouse in her mouth at a New Jersey daycare. Yes, a real mouse was IN her mouth. I'll give you a minute to absorb that ... or go gag.

According to ABC, the baby's grandmother, who works at the facility, found her granddaughter, Alanah Barba, there with the mouse, which was "most likely a dead mouse," and alerted her daughter. I'm not certain how no one knows if the mouse was really dead or not (what did they do with it after pulling it out?), but the baby's mother has since pulled her daughter out of the preschool. She also says her daughter has been sick since, and that someone should have been supervising her daughter more adequately.

When you're out in public with twin babies, you often feel a little bit like a celebrity -- people stopping you every five seconds to get a look in the stroller, to comment on their cuteness, and ask a bunch of questions. My little guys seem to love the attention, responding to the baby talk with perfectly-timed, flirty grins, like born politicians. As I've said before, I actually don't mind it because, hello, who doesn't enjoy people loving on your kids?

Buuuut, sometimes people just say the dumbest things. I noticed when I was pregnant that my giant orb often turned strangers into mushbrains, and as I'm learning, it apparently happens around babies too...especially twins! Obviously, they're just trying to make conversation, and I get that, but still. Most comments are totally benign, many make me think, "Whaaaat?" and one in particular really pisses me off. Some examples...

At my babies' first Christmas, they received a ton of toys from friends and family (lucky little tykes). I thought the toys were pretty cool -- hey, a lot I'd put on our wish list myself -- but for the most part, the boys seemed more interested in getting back to their favorite basics like their alphabet links, their bendy O-ball, even their utterly entrancing burp cloth.

It made me realize that babies at this age -- under 6 months -- don't need a whole lot of bells and whistles to be entertained. In fact, I've noticed that my babies seem to explore even more when they're just laying on the floor with a few simple links spread around them. Clearly, I've been suckered by the baby toy industry.

At 5 months old, my twin boys are at a really fun age -- belly laughing, thwacking their links around, making these strange dinosaur sounds, punctuated by raspberries. They're also sleeping through the night, napping well, chilling out at restaurants...oh crap, did I just jinx myself?

Anyway, I think all this cuteness must have numbed my brain because just yesterday, I was talking to a woman expecting twins, and guess what came out of my mouth? "Oh, it's really not that hard. It's all about perception. Just get them on a schedule and it's easy." I wished her good luck and hung up the phone, smiling about all of the great things this woman had to look forward to. Then, it hit me...memories of those hourly, middle-of-the-night wakings! The unexplained fussiness, times two! The endless feedings that involved breastfeeding and pumping and formula top-offs, only to have them eat again 1.5 hours later! Oh my freaking God, it happened -- I had forgotten how hard newborns are!

As the brand-new parent of a brand-new baby, you're assaulted with a seemingly endless list of Mission-Critical Products You'd Better Purchase Immediately or You May As Well Raise Your Child in a Feces-Filled Dumpster. Wipe warmer, special non-allergenic baby-specific detergent, stroller that transforms into Optimus Prime, doorframe jumpy whatchamathingie, rubber toy to cover your bathtub faucet so it looks like a jolly little whale, etc.

While it can be tempting to add Amazon's entire "Baby" department to your registry and empty your checking account buying everything from novelty pacifiers to a "Majestic Carriage Crib" (for just $20,000!), most haggard bitter broke seasoned parents will tell you that you really only need a few essentials when it comes to baby-wrangling.

However, if you're really looking to drop some bank on your baby, I have three non-traditional infant gear purchases that I promise any new parent will make good use of for years to come. Got your credit card ready?

You know how some people just have a way with babies? They see one crying, pick him up, do some soothing magic, and all of a sudden the child you thought would never stop screaming is suddenly serene. Call them baby whisperers or what you will, but some people just have the magic touch with babies. And so it seems does at least one cat.

What the cat does in this video is one of the sweetest and craziest things I've seen in a long time. This brand-new little baby, Connar, is all fussy in his bouncy seat. Stewie the cat is making me nervous as he's got his paws awfully close to the little guy. Stewie looks a little annoyed, and I was worried he might scratch him or something. Instead, he starts stroking the baby's forehead, and funny enough, the baby stops fussing. Watch for yourself.

Nose FridaSo, here's an irony for you: After posting last week about how I ain't afraid of no germs, my babies got a wee bit of a cold ... or they're teething ... or both. Regardless, their little noses are all mucousy and shnookly and I'm willing to do anything I can to make my little buddies all better.

Of course, those plastic bulb aspirators really do a whole lotta nothing, so I went ahead and bought a couple of those Nose Frida aspirators that allow you to suck, yes, suck the snot right out of your baby's nose (through a filter though, phew). When the pediatrician first mentioned it to me, I was like, "Oh, hells no!" But after a day of listening to them snarf, I knew I had to take serious action. A few days later, I'm sucking snot out several times a day and, I gotta say, it's pretty satisfying! Oh yeah, it's all kinds of nasty too, but hearing them breathe easy makes it all worth it. And, honestly, there are a lot of other gross things I'm doing, all in the name of love ...

My dog, my baby and his toys all co-existBefore I even go down this dirty road, I'd like to make clear that I shower every day, I wash my hands regularly, and my babies get a bath or washcloth cleaning every night before bed. Okay, with that out of the way, here goes ...

Last week, I was part of a group email exchange between a few new Moms talking about the best way to wash their babies' hands in public, to clean their little ones' toys, and comparing the best antibacterial wipes. As the emails kept coming, it became clear that these women were really keen on keeping any and all germs away from their 4-month-old babies. My first thought was, "Oh, maybe I should be more diligent?" My next thought was, "Wait, am I a gross, disgusting person?" Finally, I realized, "Okay, maybe these women need to relax a bit." Of course, no one wants their baby to get sick, but the reality is that exposing babies to dirt and germs is actually better for them in the long run. Really ...