Goodbye Dear Friend

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Photo by thegbogles

I just had to post this article written by Meggan Ravazzolo on Momversation:

Time to say goodbye to a trustworthy and loyal companion. A friend who has been there for me for 18 months (since Lucas was born) and was by my side through unshowered days, post-birth vagina surgery (twice), muddled speech, monobrows, unexplained tears of frustration, tears of hormones and tears of heart bursting love.  This friend got me out of sticky social situations, helped explain to others why I felt so crazy all the time, and was there for me at a moments notice. It has been almost 18 months though since I first delivered my son and needed this friend. I have begun to use my friend as a crutch, and that is not good. So I must say goodbye.

Goodbye to my friend, the phrase, "I just had a baby."

When I would venture out in public looking three different kinds of wrong and people would cast concerned stares, I would just call on my friend and reply,

"I just had a baby."

When I would stumble into the nail salon and hoist my feet up for a pedicure and reveal legs so hairy that if they caught fire I would need a burn permit, I didn't sulk in shame. No, I just leaned on my faithful verbal companion and said,

"I just had a baby."

After giving birth to Lucas and having my vagina look like I dove vagina-first into a food processor, sitting was IMPOSSIBLE for quite awhile. When it made others uncomfortable that I stood still like an oak tree in the living room, my linguistic lover was by my side waiting to be called on as I muttered,

"I just had a baby."

I was never alone, with "I just had a baby." This was especially helpful in the drug store when I would slink in after 10:00 p.m. and purchase fiber pills, stool softener, prune juice, Tuck's medicated pads, Epsom salts...and the latest issue of Oprah magazine. I knew the cashier must be thinking, "What is wrong with this girl's diet!?"  All questions were washed away when I looked the cashier straight in the eye and replied,

"I just had a baby."

Those were the good old days with my wonderful friend. It is now 18 months later, and I keep telling others, "I just had a baby." Time to get it together Meggan. The other day I was looking particularly homeless and worn out. Some customers at our bakery asked if I was tired. That was my clue and I immediately whipped out my clutch phrase, "I just had a baby." Their confused faces said it all as I stood there holding a very large toddler that was no where near "just" being born. In an instant I realized I was out of excuses, now I am just an exhausted mother in it for the long haul who never sleeps, is covered in food, is drowning in laundry, is gripped in the throws of crushing anxiety and worry, and desperately could use a long shower.

I will miss "I just had a baby."  Time to say goodbye. I can think of only one solution to bring back my dear friend.

Maybe I'll get pregnant again.

Hilarious!!

When did you stop using the phrase "I just had a baby"?

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